December 31, 2013

Lesson: Thank You, Lord

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!!

I always try to reflect my year on Christmas. What I have achieved and what I have failed. I skipped last year because last year was the most heavy year of my life. I only have one wish in 2013, I wished to have a peaceful year. The Lord heard my prayer. 2013 is a peaceful year for me. I don't say that I have no problem at all. I have problems in 2013 but compare to what I have in 2012, this year is more calm and peace. 

In 2013, I rearrange my life after my father passed away. It's not easy but step by step I am getting stronger. 
I received many help, attention, and care from my friends. Their existence in my life is one of my strength. I gained more weight, I found love again, I am happy in 2013.

I would like to give thanks to the Lord for giving me a peaceful year. Thank you, Lord, for listening to my prayer and for providing what I need. Thank You for Your never ending love, Lord. You are my strength, You are my refuge. Thank You so much, Lord, thank You...

I also like to give thanks to my friends: 
Thank you for supporting me in many ways and staying by my side. You are my little sister. 

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to name your son and chose the date of his birth. Your life experience inspire me how to be strong. 

Thank you for making my dream to visit China come true and for your care about my health. You guided me when I am down, especially when my relationship with God was down. 

Blue Jasmine 
Thank you for your funny thought and careful attention. You always make me laugh and see my problem in different side

Thank you for your kindness. You always make my appearance beautiful. 

Thank you for always reminding me "This too shall pass".

Thank you for loving me. You make me fall in love again when I don't want love anymore. 
I am happy. I love you.

Anna: “I don’t even know what true love is,”
Olaf: “I do! That’s when you put someone else’s needs before your own.”
(Frozen, 2013, movie)

Thank you for coming back to my life.You always know what I need to hear.

Thank you for sharing life experience with me, opening my eyes to other's need and the beauty of countries you visited.

Who I consider as a second father. Thank you so much for your help and advice. You helped me to overcome my grieve. Thank you.

And for many other friends who I can't mention one by one. Thank you for supporting me throughout 2013. You are making me what I am today. 

Lesson to Learn:
Life is up and down. God never said life would be easy but He never left us alone. His love fulfill our need beyond our imagination. Thank You Lord, for the gift of life and for Your love in our life. "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more" - Melody Beattie

"Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift." (2 Corinthians 9:15)
December 16, 2013

Poem: Today, A Year Ago

Today, a year ago, I kissed your forehead for the last time. 
Today, a year ago, I whispered "I love you" to your ear for the last time. 
Today, a year ago, I held your hand for the last time.
Today, a year ago, I caressed your cheeks for the last time. 
Today, a year ago, I hugged you for the last time. 
Today a year ago, you passed away.

I love you, so much
I miss you, so much
Rest in peace, papa.
December 12, 2013


I've wanted to have an android phone for sometimes. But the touch screen of this type of phone somehow discourages me to buy. Until one day a friend of mine bought OPPO FIND WAY. I accompanied her to buy and tried the phone too. I didn't directly buy the phone until a month later.

My first choice was OPPO FIND PIANO because it’s cheaper. The camera is not good but the sound is good. They said like this: FIND PIANO is for those who love music, FIND WAY is for those who love photography, and FIND 5 has combination of both (music & camera). But when I went to the store, they said FIND PIANO is discontinued. Oh, darn!

I have no other choice than FIND WAY and so I bought it. I got free screen guard and orange hard case. Orange is one of my favorite colors, what a coincident. Hehehe. I've been using this phone for 2 months now. I learned how to type using touch screen, move my online game, and take many pictures with it. Haha. It’s fun. So far I really enjoy the phone. The weaknesses in this phone are the lack of external memory slot and the battery cannot be removed.  The sound isn't bad at all and the camera is perfect, 5MP in front and 8MP in the back. The price is not too expensive with such good quality. Very recommended!

Finally I have an Android phone. Thank You, Lord.

Picture source:
November 27, 2013

Lesson: Seeing Trials from a Different Side

An old friend called me last week; it’s been awhile since our last conversation. She knows me pretty well; we often discuss many things together. She asked me about my condition after several trials last year.  Once I told her that the lost of my father was my biggest trial of 2012.

She said, “When you lost your ex, it was like your whole world seems fall apart. When you have to take the surgery and remove your ovary, you cried a lot because you felt that your hope to have a child is gone. When you lost your dad, you cried till you can’t breathe.” Then she asked me this, “Have you ever blame God for your trials?”

I never blame God for what had happened. It was hard to let go of my ex because I love him so much. It was hard to let go of my ovary, because I lost my hope to have my own child. I learn my lesson to let go. I learn to let him go because I love him. I learn to let my hope fade away because God want my ovary back. Everything I have is from God, and if God wants it back, I shall not withhold.

Then she asked again, “Have you ever think that God wanted you to experience the two events to get you ready for the next big event? I know your biggest lost is the lost of your father.”

WOW! She really had me thinking…
Why I haven’t thought this way before? I always wonder why God wants me to learn to let go 3x in a year. Did I fail to learn the lesson? Now I got my answer through my friend. God prepared me very well to be able to stand strong when I lost my father. I have to be strong for my mother who almost kills herself to be with my dad in heaven. I have to be strong for my brother, sister in law, and niece. Friends told me how strong I am to face my trials. I said to them I am not that strong.

Lesson to learn:
To let go is very hard especially to let go the one you love. Get closer to God in each trial, He will make you stronger, He will give you the strength you need to face it. Thank You, Lord. Thank you, my friends, for supporting me all the way, for opening my eyes to see a different side of my trials.

“He gives strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak.” (Isaiah 40:29)

Picture source:
November 25, 2013

Lesson: Paid Online Survey

I tried to find earning in the internet and a friend of mine suggested several ways: paid online chatting, paid online survey, make a blog, etc. I have tried paid chatting and paid surveys. So far the earning from this way is good even that I have to collect points which take a long time before I got my payment.

For me, the first site who gave me payment is: Aip Surveys.  This one is a local paid online survey. The payment is not cash but voucher. I can redeem my point with voucher from several shops or restaurants. The surveys are many which give me a lot of opportunity to collect many points. I usually redeem my points with shopping voucher, one time was dining voucher. I have joined this site for almost 3 years.

The second site is a global site, Global Test Market. This one pays me in cash. The only problem is... the points given by each survey is very small, so I have to work hard to be able to redeem my points. I have to reach 1000 points in order to redeem USD50. I had a doubt that the site can pay me who lives in this country, but it did. I received my first check on mid of October. Since the check has my name written wrongly in it, I have to return to GMI. It wasn't totally their fault because I didn't mention my middle name in the survey site. Last week I received a new check with a correct name. Thank you, Mr. Luke from GMI, who help me with this issue.

Lesson to learn:
God is amazing. He always provides me with what I need. I am in lack of money but my need is fulfilled in many ways. The help of friends who buy me food, the unexpected daily allowance, the check from GMI. Thank you, Lord for Your never ending love.

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." 
(Matthew 19:26, NIV)

October 29, 2013

Poem: The Things I Would've Said

Yesterday I saw this poem at my favorite writer website. As I read it, I remember friends who want to end up their life without even considering the people who love them. I know life is hard, I know life is difficult, but as long as you have faith in God, everything is possible. 

Here is the poem called: 

by I Wrote This For You

If you're strong enough to take that blade and draw it across your skin. 
If you're strong enough to take those pills and swallow them when no one's home.
If you're strong enough to tie that rope and hang it from the ceiling fan.
If you're strong enough to jump off that bridge, my friend.
You are strong enough, to live.

October 24, 2013

Happy Birthday, Papa

I love you & I miss you, papa
Happy birthday....
Oct, 24
October 11, 2013

Health: Cholesterol

Last September I did blood test when there's a promo at the apartment. I'll try to do it once a year since I have a bad health history yet sometimes my financial condition become a barrier to do it regulary.

This year result was bad on the cholesterol level. My total cholesterol level is high (250 from the normal range of <200). The composition is also bad where the bad cholesterol (LDL) is high too compare to the good cholesterol (HDL). I am so panic due this condition. Since my father passed away because of a heart attack and high cholesterol make me vulnerable to the heart attack risk, I'm really in stress.

Since I can't afford to go to the specialist, I seek online how to lower the cholesterol level. Some said that garlic can lower the level. So I start to take garlic. I also change my breakfast with oats. My father's friend who I consider as my second father told me to drink a generic medicine called Simvastatin. I bought it and it is cheap. The pharmacist told me that 10mg is enough for my case. I took it once a day before bed. Let's see the result within a month. I really wish my cholesterol will be lower. I will wrote the result later.

A bit further of Simvastatin
Simvastatin is in a group of drugs called HMG CoA reductase inhibitors, or "statins." It reduces levels of "bad" cholesterol (low-density lipoprotein, or LDL) and triglycerides in the blood, while increasing levels of "good" cholesterol (high-density lipoprotein, or HDL).

Simvastatin is used to lower cholesterol and triglycerides (types of fat) in the blood. Simvastatin is also used to lower the risk of stroke, heart attack, and other heart complications in people with diabetes, coronary heart disease, or other risk factors. This medicine is used in adults and children who are at least 10 years old.


Lesson: Trust... Again...

Dear God,

This lesson in life always knock at my door. When can I pass this lesson, God? Sometimes I am very tired, God. When I tried to explain and people won't hear me. When I tried to explain again and people won't believe me. I really don't know what to do, God.

Thank you for always given me Your strength in every trial of trust, God. You're the only one who can understand me completely, You're the only one who can see beyond what others see in me. Thank you for trusting me through out the years, God.

Grant me Your peace, so I can let go with whole-hearted, God.

Yesus Tuhanku, Kau paling mengerti
Rapuh hati ini, letih jiwa ini
Jamah ya Tuhanku.. jamah ya Tuhanku
Sebab Engkaulah Tuhan yang paling mengerti 
(Siska - Yang Paling Mengerti)

Jesus, My God, You understand me the most
My fragile heart, my weary soul
Touch me, o Lord, touch me
For You, God, who understands
September 23, 2013

Poem: I Love You

I love your nose
I love your lips
I love your hair
I love the way you see.

I love your smile
I love your arms
I love your soul
I love the way you hear.

If I could be
so close to you
I'll always say
I love you.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Lao Tzu

Thank you for the lovely poem, AGN
September 10, 2013

Song: How Long Will I Love You

This morning as I browse YouTube to hear songs, I found this song. I don't know the singer but I really love the lyric. Watch the video and study the lyric...

Here is the music video:

How long will I love you
As long as there are stars above you
And longer if I can

How long will I need you
As long as the seasons need to
Follow their plan

How long will I be with you
AS long as the sea is bound to
Wash upon the sand

How long will I want you
As long as you want me to
And longer by far

How long will I hold you
As long as your father told you
As long as you are

How long will I give to you
As long as I live through you
However long you say

How long will I love you
As long as stars are above you
And longer if I may

Dedicated this lyric to someone (you know who you are).

September 04, 2013

Lesson: Places to Go

Do you have dream to visit some places? I do. I found this picture at and when I saw it, I suddenly remember about my dream about places to go.

I remember when I read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne for the first time. The book said, to make your dream comes true, you have to visualize your dream every time. I usually not visualize my dream all the time. I just wish it once or twice. My dream sometimes comes true exactly when I forget about it. How funny is that.

Now, I want to try the theory from Rhonda Byrne by visualize my dream every time. See the picture in this entry, it called places to go. Hongkong, Dubai, Tokyo, New York, London, Paris.  I want to put this picture on my wall hanging rack just above my bed, so every time I open my eyes I will see the picture. I will put my first check mark symbol on Hongkong. I have visited the city only at the airport area, haha. May all my dream places to go come true. Amen.
September 02, 2013

Poem: Birthday Gift

Thank you for AGN for the birtdhay gift:

Quiero besar tus boca como la luz a las sombras,
quiero besar tus labios como el río a las rocas,
quiero besar tu piel como la lluvia a un clavel,
quiero besarte toda desde la boca a los pies.
Quiero tocar tus manos cuando estés en mis brazos,
quiero tocar tu alma justo cuando nos soñamos,
quiero tocar tu son con ritmo del corazón,
quiero tocarte toda como dicta la memoria.
Quiero besar tu boca y así tocar tus manos,
quiero besar tus labios y así tocar tu alma,
quiero besar tu piel con ritmo del corazón...
Quiero besarte y tocarte toda : como la luz a las sombras cuando estés en mis brazos, como el río a las rocas justo cuando soñamos, como la lluvia a un clavel tocando tu son, desde la boca a los pies como dicta la memoria.
August 27, 2013

Feeling: Is It A Blessing In Disguise?

I felt stuck with every problems that I face lately.
I am running out of energy, I feel sick. Why trials of life seems never end?

When I tell a friend about this, he suggested me to listen to this song which I found really suited to my situation. Laura Story - Blessings...

As I quote the lyric:
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

But my question remain: Is it really a blessing in disguise?
I can't see the Lord's plan for me. I know He has a wonderful plan.
Grant me the strength I need, Lord, so I can face this.
August 22, 2013

Feeling: The Only Exception

The Only Exception by Paramore

The first time I heard this song was being sang by a musical contestant. I fall in love with the song directly. The song tells me about someone who doesn't believe in love. I asked my friend to download it for me and lately I hear the song in my head as I sing along each time I play it. 

Well you are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.

And I'm on my way to believing.
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing.

Do you believe in love?
After my previous love experience, I don't believe it anymore. I am tired. 
But I don't close my heart to love... I'm willing to try again... 

As I sing...
You are the only exception... and I'm on my way to believing

August 16, 2013

Movie Review: Shark

Recently I watched a Korean drama series called "SHARK". When I bought the DVD I read the resume on the back cover of the DVD, the theme is about "revenge". I always love this plot, I don't know why I like it. I just want to give a little review on this drama.

The question that raise from the movie is could you love a person whose parents killed your parents? A heavy question for someone to answer even for me. The only problem that the love grows first before everything happen. So, should we forget our love in the sake of a revenge? For me, it solely depends on how much you have for each other. Hope your love can forgive while the fact really hurts you. It's really a sad love story when two hearts can't be together.

What I learn from this drama? I learn that you can't stop your feeling nor you have the right to ask someone to stop loving you. So it needs a big courage to finally stop your own feeling in order to have your revenge. Or just forget the fact no matter how painful and embrace a new chapter in life by continuing your feeling. To just close your eyes and love the person regardless the past or the tragic fact. Which path will you choose? Still difficult for me to answer it...

There are two theme songs of the drama that I love very much. Between Heaven and Hell by BOA and Sad Story by Jung Dong Ha. This two songs really represent the drama very much in its lyric and musical. Between Heaven and Hell told me how love makes you happy and sad at the same time. It said:

Let me forget you just for one day
These are words I can’t keep
If I don’t see you,
I’ll hurt again, I’ll cry
But I still promise myself
I’m between heaven and
hell because of you

The other song, Sad Story, said:

I walk on the street with you
I make my eyes meet with yours
When I laugh with you, the world gets erased
I tell you that I love you countlessly
I want to stay like this
But when I open my eyes,
I’m alone in my cold room
Filled with reasons that I can’t love you
Words I need to say that are the opposite of my heart.
A sad good bye  

Listen to the songs and try to answer this questions:
Can you feel how he feels?
Can you see the sadness of his love?
Can you understand his dilemma?

August 15, 2013

Health: Welcome back, pain!

It's been awhile since I write about my health condition. Since the surgery, there were no significant pain except for the last 3 months. Yes, the pain comes back. Not as painful as it use to be. What makes me curious is why the pain still exist? Why the pain located at the same right tummy? I have removed my right ovary, so the pain shouldn't be there... Unless...

I remember back then when I went to my gynecologist. When we watch the USG screen and found no sign of cyst yet I feel in pain, she said probably the endometriosis grows outside the womb. If that is the case, even surgery won't be able to stop it. I did remove the ovary but not the womb!

My sister in law always asked me to go back to the gynecologist and also my best friends, but I never do it. I am afraid! No matter how tough I am, when I face my health... I am a chicken.

Lord, please give me the strength to see my gynecologist.

Picture source:
August 13, 2013

Gadget: Blackberry Bellagio and Samsung Galaxy Tab 1

My transformation in blackberry is almost perfect.  I remember writing about how I want to have Bellagio. I’m using Bellagio now; I inherit it from my father. So far I like Bellagio, my only concern would be the battery’s life. Since Bellagio is a combination of QWERTY keypad and touch screen some how the battery runs pretty fast, especially when I turn into 2G & 3G connectivity.

Why I said almost perfect? It will perfect if I have Blackberry Z10 or Q10. I don’t want another Blackberry at the moment. I am thinking to buy an Android instead of another Blackberry. The connectivity now days are unstable for Blackberry, no matter which provider I choose.

I have an Android, Samsung Galaxy Tab 1 from my father. When he bought this device, he always asked me why I don’t want it. I don’t need, this device is only for entertainment. But when my father passed away, I decide to keep it. I start to explore and use the device. So far I enjoy several games that I installed and I use the device to study too. I put my teaching material in it, so I can study whenever I want to. The battery’s life so far still good although the performance is slowly dropping. The device is quite nice and user friendly.

If one day I bought an Android phone, I would prefer Sony Ericsson Xperia J or Sony Ericsson Xperia L. Why I choose Sony Ericsson instead of Samsung Galaxy? One reason only.... Sony Ericsson have a very good and fine camera. Haha.

Thank you, papa. I love you, always have, always will.
July 06, 2013

Lesson: Cost Accounting

(I use this book as my teaching literature)

This time I have to teach "Cost Accounting". When the university offer me to teach it, I was so excited. I used to teach this subject long time ago. I always want to teach it and the opportunity came to me. Thank You, Lord for this opportunity.

I thought it would be easy to re-learn this topic but it is a little different this time. Firstly, because I have to teach in English. Secondly, I have to update with the latest knowledge about this subject. Looking for online literature was easy for several chapter. There are 2 chapters that I seek and can't find it till now. Is it because a different curriculum or is it only be taught in here? Mm, I still can't figure it out. I must dig deeper about that.

So far, so good. I have my Madagascar's students back... It was funny how they said that I was disappear... Actually not disappear, guys... I wasn't teaching for myself back then, I was only a replacement. Now, I stand on my own and it's a pleasure to have you back in my class.

Hope I can teach it better... as I am considering to be a lecturer as my future job.
June 26, 2013

Lesson: Trust

Can you trust me? That’s the biggest question I always asked. Seems that no one trust me. Even for an opinion or a suggestion, no one would try my idea. I know I shouldn't be angry or upset about it but continually receive such treatment really make me down. Am I unworthy to be trust?

Next time I just have to remain silent with all my thoughts and close my eyes regardless what happen...
June 22, 2013

Song: Jangan Ada Dusta Di Antara Kita

This is my dad's favorite song. We often sing it together when he still alive. The story behind this song is there shouldn't be a lie between us (man and woman). A man told a woman that she wasn't the first for him, like he was married before he met her. That's the truth he wants to tell. He wants her to understand the circumstances and he asks for no lies between them.

Lately when I joined the night entertainment with my big boss, he always asks me to sing this song with him in a karaoke. "Come, let's have a duet with your dad's favorite song," he said. Oh, how I miss my dad. How I miss our karaoke session. Pa, how are you? I miss you, I love you.

Here is the video clip of the song:

June 11, 2013

Journey: China Trip 19-24 May 2013

YAY! I finally went to China. Well, I never thought I would travel to a country that require a VISA. I do have a wish that one day I will go to Hongkong, I have my own reason why I want to go there. This journey was like a dream comes true. I can't believe it.

A friend of mine has an illness and she believes in alternative healing. I can't tell what her illness is, but I can say it needs a serious attention. She has it for some years, she has tried everything to find the cure. One of her bestfriend told her that there are a professor in Chinese Medicine who is clever. He can heal almost every disease. This professor is in Fuzhou, China.

She made up her mind to go to China. She prepared everything such as tickets, hotel, translators, etc. One more thing she needs: a friend to accompany her. So, she asks me whether I want to go there with her and I said "YES". I agreed to accompany her because I want to repay her kindness. She was there with me day and night when I had my surgery last year.She bought my tickets and got me the VISA. Her parents paid everything for me.

We almost didn't go because we haven't got the appointment with the professor. The departure was confirmed only 5 days away without the doctor appointment. So, this is our journey.

May 19, 2013: Incident @ HONGKONG
The airport, Chek Lap Kok is a big international airport. After we arrived in Hongkong, we have to wait for 2.5 hours connecting flight to Xiamen, China. She decided to stay in Xiamen because she can't find any translator in Fuzhou.

Due our next flight gate is far away, we have to grab our lunch and eat it on the waiting hall. We chose sandwich. I chose the promotion stuff: a sandwich and free Americano coffee. Well, the incident started with the coffee. We rushed into our gate and I didn't pay attention to the coffee. The cover of the cup flipped away and I squeezed the cup due the shock. Yeah, the boiled water was all over my right hand. It was so hot, my palm turned into red, it hurt so much.

After I cleaned the floor, we run to our train to the gate of the plane. When we reached there we find a restroom and put my hand on the water to ease the burning sensation. It took sometimes to calm the burning sensation but the skin became sensitive.

May 20,2013: Xiamen, China
Our first day in Xiamen was a free day. Xiamen in my eyes is a clean city. My friend and mr. Google also said Xiamen is the cleanest city in China. I agree with it. After a morning rain, the weather became hot. My friend wants to go to her previous university. Ah, she studied Chinese Language 8 years ago in Xiamen University.

The line to entry the university was a long queue. In such hot weather we decided not to enter the university. Instead we find meal around it. My first taste of Xiamen's food was: TASTELESS. I had fish ball soup with rice for lunch. I just swallowed it so I won't get hungry. Regarding the taste... Don't ask :-)

My favorite drink at Xiamen, China

After that we go to Zhongshan Road for shopping. This road is very famous in Xiamen, along the street we can find local products; clothes, belt, bag, etc. We didn't intended to buy anything but a local phone number so we can make a phone call to Fuzhou. Our translator tried so many times but no one answer the phone at the hospital.

In the evening, we just went to nearest shopping mall to buy fruits and cup noodle for breakfast. Speaking of breakfast, the hotel breakfast was bad. I can't swallowed what I ate cause everything was so plain, no taste. Cup noodle was our breakfast for the rest of our stay in Xiamen. Our hotel was located near the train station and around 2 big shopping mall. We chose it because of the train station to go to Fuzhou.

May 21, 2013: Fuzhou
From Xiamen to Fuzhou we took a bullet train. Regular train from Xiamen to Fuzhou would take 12 hours but with bullet train it only took 2.5 hours. The train departed at 6:50 as scheduled. I really enjoyed the journey. The view from small cities during this trip is lovely. The train was good and clean. The city is clean and not too crowded. Well, I didn't go anywhere but the  hospital, so I can't really make a judgement regarding the city.

Bullet Train Ticket from Fuzhou to Xiamen

We arrived at Fuzhou at 9:30. We took a cab to the hospital. The cab driver said the people are lining up to see the professor from 4 AM. Wow! And we were there at 9:30 AM?? Let's try!

The line was long indeed. We were afraid that we can get the appointment. We already have a back-up plan, if we can't see him in the morning shift, we will try the night shift. After a little conversation with the receptionist, our translator said that the professor isn't suitable for my friend illness and the receptionist suggested another doctor. We followed her suggestion.

We were waiting for an hour. The doctor's room wasn't a private room. So many people inside and no privacy at all. When our translator started to speak about the illness suddenly everyone gather around the table. I felt so sad because I know she doesn't want anyone to know about it. I didn't sit near them but I can hear what our translator said. Oh... what to do... My friend didn't look shock at all. I can see through her eyes, she was sad.

We went back to Xiamen. She sat silently next to me. I asked why she didn't sleep, she said she can't, she has something in her mind... and I know what it is. I understand it's a hard decision to take, I've been in that stage before so I know exactly how she feels. We remain in silent til we reached Xiamen.

May 22, 2013: Xiamen
This was suppose to be our free day to have city tour. Our new translator has a car and she can drive us every where we want to go. With yesterday result, my friend really pushed her self to look OK. She asked the translator to bring us to lake and park. They said you haven't been in China if you haven't visit its lake and park.

Bailuzhou Park
This park is our first stop. It's big, divided by a road. Beautiful park with a lake. They said at night there will be a water show, since we went there in the morning, we didn't have a chance to see it. Rain was fall in the morning, so the park was wet. Here are some pictures from the park:

Gulf Park
The second park we visited is Gulf Park. I think this park is more beautiful than the previous one. I enjoy the landscape very much. The connection between the park and the sea give an extra point to its beauty. We stayed for a long time at this park just to kill our time. Wish to be able to visit it again someday. 

Gulf Park - Xiamen, China

May 23, 2013: Xiamen - Hongkong
Finally we went home... That's what we thought. Our flight from Xiamen to Hongkong suppose to leave at 12:00. It was an hour flight.The flight got delayed for 2.5 hours. The Hongkong Air Traffic didn't allow us to fly at our height level of fly. I don't know why but it doesn't make sense to me. We are in the plane for 2.5 hours and can't do anything about it. Our connecting flight was at 15:00.

I knew it was risky to take only 2 hours difference from the next flight. But I wasn't the one who bought the tickets, so I can't complain. My fears came true, our next flight to my home town already departed. We missed it. We got angry to the ground crew of the airline, we insisted to be flown today. They tried to help us by finding another flight but no seat available for us. 

They took the responsibility, they gave us a hotel and meal voucher. My friend was very angry, she blames me for it. She said it was my mistake who wish to stay in Hongkong for a night. Oh... it was a wishful thinking, I never thought I would come true. I can't blame her, cause I know her emotional was down at the moment. 

Regal Airport Hotel, Hongkong

We stayed at Regal Airport Hotel for a night. The only problem was our luggage. The Cathay Pacific said it would be difficult to get our luggage. We have to wait for 2 hours or longer than that. We insisted that we don't have anymore clothes to wear even if we only stay for a night, we need to change. Well, we were very persistent, so they collected our luggage for us. While the other passengers just walk away without their luggage.  

We spent most of our time at the airport to get internet access to inform our family regarding the delay and delegate our job that we must do tomorrow to our coworker. Actually, this time I realized one thing. The airport never sleep... until late at night, people come and go, very crowded. The reason why I need to stay in Hongkong for a day is to learn about the airport. Hahaha... but there's another reason which I couldn't tell. If you know me, you will know the other reason clearly. Yet, I still haven't got my answer to that other reason. Well, I should just forget about it.

May 24, 2013: Hongkong - Hometown
Our flight was at 15:30. I asked my friend to go to Hongkong City but she refused. She said the city is far away from the airport, in fact the airport is on a different island. Oh, okay... I just stayed at the lobby to get internet access and started to ask the office situation.

Another incident on Hongkong Airport... LOL... I got 2 incidents in one visit... WOW! I was in the restroom  and had difficulty to locate my wet tissue on my backpack. So I took everything out, put it on the right and left side. But when I got out from the restroom I only put back what the stuff from the right side. I completely forgot about the left side. After several step, I thought why my backpack is very light. Ah, I remember it!!! I run to the restroom and.... IT'S GONE... I tried to locate the cleaning lady and she was gone also. When I stepped outside the restroom the voice call said: "Dear passenger please be careful of your belonging!" Yeah... right!

Finally I reached my hometown on 20:30. Glad to arrived safe and sound. That is my journey to China.
May 10, 2013

Lesson: Flower That Bloom When Shaken


Where is the flower that blooms without shaking?
Any of the beautiful flowers of this world
all bloom while being shaken
They shake on stems that grow upright
Where is the love that goes without shaking?
Where is the flower that blooms without being soaked?
Any of the shining flowers of this world
bloom as they are soaked
Soaked by wind and rain, petals bloom warmly
Where is the life that goes without being soaked?

- Do Jong-hwan
What a nice poem! I got the poem when I watched "SCHOOL 2013", a Korean Serial Movie.

Reflecting on 2012, this poem really hit me. Yes, 2012 has been a year of struggling form me. I lost so many things in order for me to learn how to let go. It was a hard lesson to learn as I have to let go my love, my ovary, and my father. I don't even know how I can be that strong to face all of it.

In order to grow, a flower have to face wind and rain, so do I. I have to face such lesson for me to grow. I have not pass my lesson yet, I know I still have to learn a lot. I am not strong enough to handle the next lesson, I still cry every now and then. Wish this year won't shake me too hard cause I still learn how to get up. I remember my best friend prayer when she wished me a happy new year:

"I'm really sorry that year 2012 is a bad year for you. So, although most people see 13 as an unlucky number, I pray that in this year 2013 God lift the burden from you, that this year will be a good moment to start new things, that this year will be a lucky number for you. HAPPY NEW YEAR" (Blue Jasmine)

Thank you for your support and prayer, my friends and family. I couldn't done it without you. Thank you God for the lesson. Thank you for always giving me the strength that I need to face every lesson.
April 19, 2013

Welcome, Ivander Ethan Aditya


Welcome to the world Ivander Ethan Aditya Batubara
Congratulation to Joshua Batubara & Imelda Dewi Saraswati for your baby boy

Thank you for using the name I chose for him, Imelda. 
Ivander means "a good man". 
Aditya means "the sun". 
When I choose that name "Ivander Aditya",
I wish your son will be a good man who will shine upon you and your family. 
Thank you also for choosing the date of his birth as I suggested - April 18, 2013.

Ivan, the Lord loves you so
God be with you as you grow
May you be blessed in every way
As you follow God each day
And may God keep you in watchful sight
From early morning through the night

The Lord bless you and keep you (Numbers 6:24)
March 28, 2013

Lesson: A Nice Offer

 On one Sunday I went to the church near my apartment. The weather on Sunday was sunny. I prepared the money for taxi and trishaw when I left my apartment. I went by taxi and after the mass I decided to walk home cause I couldn't find any trishaw. It is a long walk of approximately 30-45 minutes.

It wasn't my first time to walk after church. My first was when I wear a skirt and fancy 3cm high slipper. That walk was easier than this week. I wore long pants and flat shoe this time. It turned out to be the wrong choice of shoes.

Half the way, I felt so tired. The sun was very hot, I didn't bring a hat or umbrella. I felt hurt on my ankle. In my heart I said, "Jesus, I'm tired." To my surprise, suddenly a man on a motor cycle stopped. He asked, "Can I give you a lift?". I was shocked, I tried to remember his face, probably someone I know but I didn't recognize him at all. I said to him, "No, thanks. It's close." Then he left.

I said to Jesus, "That's cute, Jesus. Thank You for helping." I laughed and continued.

After 200 meters, I saw that man again. He stopped and typed something on his cell phone. I continued my walk. Not far from there, he came closer again. He said,"It's ok. I can give you a lift. Is it still far?" I said, "No, it's very close now. Thank you." Then he speed up his motor cycle and gone. Gosh, I was so afraid.

I said to Jesus, "Are you the one who send him? Because I am afraid, Jesus. What if he is a bad guy who wants to kidnapped or rape me?" He (Jesus) reminds silent as always, I smile and continue. 

I should have wear the fancy slipper. My left feet was wounded now, it bleed and sore. My right feet got a bit swollen. Me and my stupid decision. I must call a cab next time. Noted!

Picture source:
March 14, 2013

Book Review: How Far Would You Go For A Commitment?

Recently I read a book called "Test Pack" by Ninit Yunita. A friend recommended it after she watched the movie "Test Pack: You Are My Baby". I already tried to find the DVD of it but couldn't find one yet. So, when I saw the book at the book store I decided to buy it. It is a good book. It gives a BIG question to everyone who read it (it challenges me): "How far would you go for a commitment?"

The story began with a marriage couple who had been married for 7 years and still unable to have a child. Tata, the wife, begins to worry and obsess to have a child while Rachmat, the husband, thinks that having a child is not a must. Tata tries many ways to get pregnant but afraid to go to the specialist to seek whether they are having a problem to have one. The couple finally commit to see a specialist. The gynecologist said Tata is normal, there wouldn't be any problem for her to have a child. Tata is happy to received the news and insisted her husband to do the test. He did the test and the result is bad. His sperms are too weak, he couldn't give a child to Tata. If Rachmat is willing to accept Tata whether she can gives a child or not, would Tata do the same for Rachmat?

So, how far would you go for a commitment when love no longer enough?
For me, to make a commitment needs a courage and to stay in it needs respect, trust, and bigger courage. When I decide to make one, I will do anything, sacrifice everything to stay in it...

Here are some quotes from the book that I like:

Don't love someone because of what/how/who they are. From now on, start loving someone because you want to. (Ninit Yunita - Test Pack)

To sustain a relationship you must have a commitment. (Dimas Seno - Test Pack)

A commitment, it has taken myself, embarked into a dangerous environment to work on, a gut that most people are reluctant to engage in... A strong passion that perhaps is unique that no one has ever committed to... In short, it takes one's dignity to risk should a person failed to hold one. (Luigi. Pralangga - Test Pack).

As far as the ocean of life would be, as deep as it would be. I'll swim through it. As cold as it would be, as hot as it would be. I'll adapt through it. As strong the wind would be, so as soft as it would be. I'll stand through it. Even if the ocean of water become the ocean of fire I'll go through it, anyway I can. Cause this is life, and life, is all about commitment. (Suari Widilaksono - Test Pack)

March 13, 2013

Journey: Jepara - Jogjakarta

This March we had a long holiday and some friends arranged a trip to Karimun Jawa. Karimun Jawa is an island above Central Java Island. A beautiful island that has beautiful beaches and small islands. A perfect place for a getaway, dive & snorkel.

Karimun Jawa Beach

We rented a bus to go to Jepara. When we reached Jepara, the weather was very bad, the wave was very high. The officer at the port said no ship will depart until the next 2 days. Oh, wtf! I really wanted to go.
After a discussion we reroute our trip to Jogjakarta. Jogjakarta is known as a educational city. It has many interesting places to be visit, such as Prambanan Temple, Borobudur Temple, Parangtritis Beach, the Palace of Jogjakarta, Malioboro Street, etc. I always love this city, especially the Javanese Culture here.

We arrived pretty late and stayed at Citihub Hotel - quiet far from the city center. It's a budget hotel, the room was small and nice. We went to Malioboro to have our dinner. Malioboro always crowded by visitor. A long the street of Malioboro, we can buy many souvenir such as batik dress and handy craft (batik bag, slipper, accessories).

Malioboro Street

The next day, some of my friends went for cave & river tubing while I accompanied a friend who got sick. We went out when she felt better. We went to buy a special snack from Jogjakarta called Bakpia. Then we went to Malioboro again. We had our lunch at Pempek Ny. Kamto. It's a fish cake with special sauce. I like this one very much, never missed to eat it when I am at Jogjakarta. After it we went for a walk.


In the afternoon we went to a mass at Kota Baru Church (St. Antonius Church). Always wanted to go to this church because I am curious about the liturgy at this Church. It has its own book of liturgy. A new experience of mass when most of the ordinarium songs are eliminated.

The altar of Kota Baru Church

We decided to have our dinner at Tojoyo after the mass. It serves fried chicken in Jogjakarta style. Very delicious, I will recommend everyone to try it. Went back to the hotel, my friends asked to join them for a night culinary  First stop was Gudeg Mercon. Gudeg is a special dishes of Jogjakarta made with a young jackfruit and many local ingredients. Sweet and yummy! But this one has a spicy taste. I didn't eat but my friends said it's a good one. Second stop, Malioboro again. Another street hawker food but this one was better than the first night. More tasty and very crowded.

That was the end of our nights in Jogjakarta. In the morning we checked out from hotel, we went for another gudeg for breakfast. This time we ate non spicy gudeg, hihi. Then we went to an Aerospace Museum  We saw many historical planes there.


We went home, it took 8 hours of drive to reach our city. A short and sweet getaway that fulfill my need for vacation and it's free, hihi. I always wanted to go back to Jogjakarta but never plan to go there this year.
Again, God surprises me. I decided to join the trip but when I found out about the cost, I cancelled it. A friend generously willing to pay for my trip, so thank you so much for allowing me to join this trip.When I forgot about my dream, God always grants it in a unique way. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, my contributor.

Picture source: various website

February 19, 2013

Feelings: What is The Opposite of I Love You?

When you are being ask, "What is the opposite of I love you?". Most of you will answer "I don't love you" or "I hate you". My answer is "I can't do anything for you".

Remembering how my father asked for my help on the day he passed away, I felt so guilty that I couldn't help him. People said it's God's will that whether I was at his side on that moment, I won't be able save him. Yet it still can't reduce my guilt. Since we are close to one another, I felt so empty now. I can't forgive myself because I failed to rescue him. I love him, but I can't do anything for him. 

The truth is, I can't do anything for my love one. I failed to prove my love for them, especially to my father. Pa, I love you so much. For me now, the opposite of I love you is I can't do anything for you. I, who was unable to do anything for my father, can only take care of my mom now. I will try my best to love and support her more than before. Ma, I love you so much.

February 02, 2013

Feeling: Papa, I miss you...

Papa, how are you in heaven?
I really miss you...

Are you looking down upon me from heaven?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away

I love you so much, papa

Picture source: