Lesson: The Magic

It’s been 2 years since my father passed away and I still think of him everyday. He was a wonderful father to me. He was the one who thought me to love reading. My first novel was called “A Woman of Substance” by Barbara Taylor Bradford. I was so shock when he brought me the novel, it was so thick (more or less 944 pages). For me who wasn't like to read, it was a heavy book. Hehe.

That wasn't the first book my father bought for me, he bought a lot of book since I was a little. Story books, school books, and many other books. I have one last book that he bought me. He knew I love this author. That day, when we passed through a book store, he said “It’s a new book from Rhonda. Do you want to read it?” I replied, “Yes.” He bought me that book, called “The Magic”.

“In The Magic, Rhonda Byrne reveals this life-changing knowledge to the world. Then, on an incredible 28-day journey, she teaches you how to apply this knowledge in your everyday life. No matter who you are, no matter where you are, no matter what your current circumstances, The Magic is going to change your entire life!”

The last time I read this book was the day when my dad passed away.  Since that day, I never open the book anymore. On that day, I read the Day-15 Journey. It was about magically heal your relationship and the example was about heal relationship with someone who already passed away. Never have thought that my father will pass away that day. I was so devastated and too sad to read the book again.

Now, as a memory of him, I will start to read the book again. I will try to follow each day journey inside the book and learn from it. Thank you, papa, for this book. I love you, always have, and always will. 

Lesson: Garbage

I love clean, like to see a clean environment. During my stressful time or relax time, I try to clean my apartment. Usually this activity makes me forget about my problems. I can't say that I am a freak to cleanliness, I really really like clean environment. This fondness was built by my father on how he loved to stay clean. Every Sunday, he moved all the furniture in a new place in order to clean the dust from it. 

It's been awhile that I watched my neighbors with their garbage. At the apartment in each floor we have a garbage disposal place which located at the end of the row. It's not far to reach, 2-4 minutes away by walking. I don't know which neighbor but there's someone who throw away their garbage in front of the Emergency Exit Door. Once, I ignored it. Second, I ignored it. And they kept doing it... Until last Tuesday night, as I entered my hall, I smell awful things which came out from their garbage. My unit is in front of the emergency exit door. I was so deeply mad, so I wrote a note in a piece of paper saying:

"THIS IS AN EMERGENCY EXIT DOOR, NOT A GARBAGE DISPOSAL PLACE"

In the morning I found something shocking... the person who throw those garbage, moved it to my door. WTF!!!! Oh my God, how can someone be so careless? Hello... this is my door! Aaarrggghhh.... I was so furious, so angry. I can't pray at all that day cause I was super upset. So I made a promise, that if I came home from work and still find another garbage in front of my unit, I will take it and put it at each front door of my next door and next door and next door... Let's see how they will react. 

When I returned that evening, no more garbage in front of my door & the emergency exit door. Until today, no more garbage there. I am so relief. Let's see how long it will last. I will file serious complaint to the management if this kind of thing happen in the future. 

Picture source:

http://watsupplies.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Garbage_Bags.jpg

Lesson: Even though We Weren't Close

Even though we weren't close

I always tried to visit you 

Even though we weren't close

I always remember you in my prayer

Even though we weren't close

Losing you cause a deep sadness

Even though we weren't close

I love you, I will always miss you

Rest in peace, Embah

Ambarawa, 26.10.2014

Love: Saying I Love You

Today is my father birthday. He already passed away for almost 2 years. In the memory of his birthday, I like to share one of the valuable lesson he taught me. Every morning, he sent a morning greeting:

GOOD MORNING, N
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY
GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Even the morning before he passed away, he sent it. I know how much he loves me, and believe that he still loves me. One day on my dream, he came just to say " I love you, N". Oh, how I miss his voice so much. Since he passed away, I continue his legacy. I always send the morning greeting to mom, my brother, my in-law, my niece. It's not just a habit or merely a saying, but the meaning is deeper than that. 

I want everyone I love know that they are loved by me. I send the morning greeting with all my heart. So, if today shall be my last day on earth, I want them to remember how much I love them. 

I love you, R 
I love you, M 
I love you, D 
I love you, I 
I love you, Tata
I love you so much... always have, always will...

I love it when I receive a reply from them. They always made my day with it. 
Thank you, pa, for the valuable lesson. I will continue your legacy. 

Happy Birthday, papa.

Picture source:
http://www.hslda.org/cms/?q=blog/saying-i-love-you-your-family%E2%80%A6how-about-starting-new-tradition

Travel: Lombok - Gili Trawangan

This September is a busy month for most of us in the office because we have a special event. This passed two years, office always held an event on its birthday. This time the event took place in Lombok, an island in West Nusa Tenggara, Indonesia. The main event took place in Gili Trawangan, small island at the northwest coast of Lombok. The preparation of this event was really exhausting, meeting after meeting, with a lot of misunderstanding until the very last minutes.

Gili Trawangan
To reach this place, we need to drive for an hour to the harbor called Teluk Nare. Then we have to take 30 minutes boat ride to reach Gili Trawangan. There are 3 Gilis: Gili Air, Gili Trawangan, and Gili Meno. This islands are perfect for honeymoon place, so private, beautiful beach and breath-taking sunset view.

The event started with a Hawaiian BBQ Dinner by the beautiful beach of Gili Trawangan. An outdoor dinner with live music and fun quizzes. Like usually in each company event, I was the host of this dinner. My outlook preparation was really bad, cause 15 minutes before the dinner started I still handled the room distribution while the hotel and tour agent already gave up. I was so upset, only wish to go to the beach and scream, but the beach already crowded by our guests. For the first time of my life, I host a show with wet hair because I washed my hair at the last minutes. What a hectic day! Thanks to Nit2x who finally took care of the room distribution.

The next event was business meeting. The hotel preparation of meeting room was not good. Another headache stroke me. At the end of the meeting my co-host decide to give an offering with wasn't on our agenda. He definitely sabotaged my fun games event. I just said... Whatever! Since no one came for my fun games event, I am so thankful because I finally can sat, relaxed, and enjoyed the beautiful sunset of the island.

Back to Lombok
The next day we moved back to Lombok and continued with city tour. For me, Lombok is very hot and dry. The first stop was the Pearl Shop. Lombok is famous with the pearl farm. There are sea pearl and fresh water pearl. Sea pearl is very expensive compare to the fresh water pearl. I bought 3 rings and a bracelet of fresh water pearl.  Second stop was the gift shop, more to food gift shop. Lombok is famous with the honey bee and seaweed jelly.

Third stop was lunch, which I cannot remember where. All I can remember is I don't like the food and I cannot eat it because it's spicy, the local dish called "Plecing Kangkung & Ayam Taliwang". Extra hot, extra spicy. Only eat the rice and fried tofu. Well, the tour agent feel pity on me so they requested non spicy fried chicken for me.

Fourth stop was "Sade Village" - a traditional village of Sasak (the native of Lombok). At this village I saw how they preserve the culture by staying at the local house with minimum facility. For living, they farm and sell special fabric called "Kain Tenun or Songket". They have to knit it for days even months. What an amazing skills. They said, for a girl to be able to get married, she has to be able to produce 3 fabrics. There's a phrase of Lombok - a city of thousand thief. Wait... don't judge yet. Thousand thief because in the Sasak Culture, the man must kidnap the woman in order to marry the woman. Okay, who wants to kidnap me? Hahaha...

Fifth stop was Narmada Garden - an old kingdom. This place built in 1727 by the king of Mataram - "Anak Agung Ngurah Karang Asem". Beautiful garden but I was to tired to enjoy it.

The last stop was dinner at Furama. The food was good. I closed the entire event that night. Finally my job as host was done, three days in a row of being a host / master of ceremony. It was fun, it was tiring, yet I am thankful to be able to contribute in this event.

Lesson to learn:
Visiting Lombok was my dream in 2013. I was planning to visit this place but the cost was my limitation. To my surprise, this year the dream came true. I visited Lombok and Gili Trawangan for free. I enjoyed the beautiful scenery. God knows how much I love sunset, so He gave me a special time to enjoy it. Even though I have to work during the trip, but having my dream comes true, I don't mind at all.

Thank You, Lord, for the opportunity to visit one of my dream place.
Thank You for sending help in a perfect time so the event run smoothly.
Thank You for the beautiful, breath-taking sunset moment.
Thank You for giving me strength and health.
Your love never stop to amaze me, Lord

Another dream come true... looking forward to tell you all my dreams to You, Jesus.

Lesson: Birthday Wish

My birthday was last month. I wrote this entry before my birthday but forgot to schedule to publish it. I still want to publish it now even though it's late.

On my birthday, I thank God for loving me for the last 35 years of my life. He always be there for me in every step. Thank you, mom, for delivering me to this world, your love always with me. Thank you my brother and sister in law for the dinner. Thank you, honey for singing me the birthday song. Thank you my little sister for the birthday cake & knitting tools. Thank you my big sister for the new batik shirt. Thank you my best friend for the books, eyeliner, fragrant soap, ethic pants, etc. Thank you for making my birthday so special. 

On my birthday, I have 2 wishes.

First wish is to be able to stay healthy. I know how weak my body is. I know I can't sleep without medicine. I know I have to regularly see doctor. But.... this last 2 years, I barely do it because of some reasons. I am afraid to know about my health. I am afraid to know the result as I see doctor or medical report. Due this reason I often avoid going to see doctors. The other reason is my financial situation. Well, my financial situation is unstable. Seeing a doctor isn't cheap especially when the doctor is a specialist. I keep trying to save some money to see doctor, but I end up with no money. 

Second wish is to be able to see my boyfriend in real. We have a long distance relationship and it's been a year now. Although I was afraid to have another LDR, my boyfriend was the one who convinced me that this time will be better. Our relationship wasn't smooth, we often fight, argue and misunderstand, we broke up several times too. In spite of it, we still together and try to fight for our love. I really wish I can meet him in person on my birthday.

Love: Wedding Dress

This evening I watched another episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC. I love watching this show, cause I learn a lot about finding wedding dress. This show makes me wonder what would it be like when I find my own dress one day, would I be wearing it one day?

What I learn? Hmm...
I learn that finding a wedding dress is not easy at all. The bride-to-be have fantasy about her dress but sometimes when she tries the dress, she doesn't like it or she doesn't look good in it.

I learn that there are many type of woman's body and to my surprise, there will always be a dress for every type. So either you're thin or fat, either you're tall or short, there will be a dress for you. It might be hard to find and make you want to give up, but don't give up just yet. There's a dress for you.

I learn that too many person who help you decide, sometimes make you confuse. So, just focus on small family member such as parents, sister & brother, your BFFs. Just follow your heart when the opinion isn't what you expected.

I learn that making a decision on such a big commitment in marriage isn't an easy. The most important isn't about the dress, but the life after the wedding. The upcoming challenges are more big. For you, all bride-to-be, keep believing that you will find your dress, be happy, be beautiful. Always holds your love to one another and put it above everything and you can face any upcoming storms as you enter the marriage life.

My Funny and Yet Amazing God

Lately I have been facing a difficult problem which somehow burden me. I can't stop thinking to find a way out of it, but until today I still stuck with the problem. A problem that have haunt me for several years and keep going on. There are times when I feel it not as heavy as it seems yet in many times I feel it so heavy that I want to give up. Last week, when I feel how heavy the problem and how to solve it, I was in a lot of stress. My neck began to stiff and clogged nose more often, I am really in a difficult phase. 

During my lectio divina moment last week, God strengthen me with many scriptures that I read. Even for 3 days in a row He spoke to me about "don't worry", about "being still", and about "His beautiful plan for me". His words really encourage me and I want to share one of the words that I read. This words was brought to me by Joel Osteen on one of his Today's Word series. As I quote:

It was like God was saying, "I can make it rain whenever I want to. I can use a little cloud, a big cloud or no cloud. I'm God. I'm the All Powerful Creator of the universe. When I say rain, I don't need a cloud. When I say healing, I don't have to have medicine. When I say promotion, I don't need your boss's approval. When I say abundance, I don't need a bank. I'm not limited by the natural. I'm a supernatural God.

When I read this words, I laugh so hard until my friend turn her head and ask me what's wrong. Ha-ha. I like what Joel's wrote, it gave me a slap on my cheek which remind me how amazing my God is. This words really confirming of what I have been receiving in my lection divina moment. Again, God wants me to stay still and know that He is a supernatural God. He can do everything for me even when I think it's impossible. 

I slept well that night, knowing that I don't have to worry. Until now I don't have solution to my problem, but I feel less worry. I know God will help and His timing is perfect. Thank You, Lord, for being such a funny and amazing God to me.

Picture source:
http://www.missosology.info/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=146166

Lesson: KEP

What do I think when I heard about evangelization? The first thing that come up into my mind is giving religion teaching to those who isn't Catholic and somehow I think it is a very hard duty for me. I think of it as a hard duty because for a Catholic, I know that I have to spread the Good News but interfering in someone's belief is too personal for me. Because religion is between God and the person and in that matter, no one should encounter or force a will. So, I try other ways in delivering Good News, for example by being a lector and joining choir.

To my surprise, I agreed to accompany my friend to take a course called KEP (Kursus Evangelisasi Pribadi / Personal Evangelization Mission Course). I never imagine before that I will take this course due my perception above. I thought the course was about studying the bible more deep but so far, it wasn't like that. The course itself is long, every Monday for 3 hours, and it will end on November. As the teacher explained, this course is about being an evangelist by telling others our own experience of God's love.

I still think the course is too heavy for me. I don't know if I can go on with the course till the end. It's not about refusing my duty as a Catholic. I am not ready for this kind of mission yet. But I
am already in it now, I believe that God has a plan for me in here. Help me, Lord to understand Your will in my life.

Picture source:
http://lavistachurchofchrist.org/

Lesson: Easter 2014

This year, I really celebrate Easter by myself with no family around. Actually I have a plan to celebrate Easter at my hometown but since I have a task to do in Church I rescheduled my trip. As mom already has a busy schedule in her community for Easter, she can't join me here.

Some years ago, I was chosen to be a Lector on Good Friday's mass. I was so excited to be trusted in such a big mass. But... that day, I have a massive stomach ache due my endometriosis, which made me unable to stand straight and walk. I cancelled the task in last minutes. I tried so hard to find a replacement and finally found one. I was so sad because unable to do this task.

Last month, I received a phone from the lector coordinator. She informed me that they elected me to be the Lector for Good Friday. I was surprised cause I already have ticket to go to hometown. I was confuse, at one side this task is like a redemption for my previous one, and at another side my mom will be alone. Difficult to decide... I finally choose to do the lector.

My task was for the first reading from the Book of the Prophet Isaiah 52:13-53:12. What a long reading! As I study every Friday and Sunday with the lector's tutor, I feel nervous to read this. How to get the audience full attention with such long reading? How to keep them from sleepy? I studied a lot. I learnt how to read it lively and gracefully.

The day has come for me to be Lector. I practiced since morning, the mass started at 2PM. I did it well even though the electricity sometimes off I tried to speak as loud as I could. I prayed that the electricity won't go off again after my turn. God hears me although the electricity went off again during the Gospel for several seconds.

Thank You, Lord, for giving me the opportunity to serve your people. Thank you to Mr. Agus (tutor) and Fanda (Lector Coordinator).

Picture source:
https://www1.villanova.edu/villanova/mission/campusministry/liturgicallife/lector.html
http://thebreakfastklub.com/open-easter-sunday

Lesson: January - Meeting Month

January will always be a busy month for me. Meeting and meeting all the time. This January is the busiest month than before. Usually in January, we have 3 annual meetings in the office, but probably this time only 2 annual meeting. The other one will be held on February.

First Annual Meeting

The first one is the annual meeting of a sister company in the company group. My task is to summarize the meeting and to create fun games. Meeting was held in Jogjakarta, I like this city. The weather wasn't friendly cause we are having raining season. Two days of meeting which always end late at night. It was difficult to stay focus with such long hours of meeting. One of my job was to make ice-breaker, so everyone can be fresh and focus again on the meeting. 

It wasn't easy to find a good ice-breaker games. We need to think games that can build sense of belonging and team work. My coworker and I managed to give good ice-breakers during the meeting. We laughed, we have fun, we can focus well during the meeting. Beside ice-breakers, we also created an Amazing Race. We made them run and do many things, started from the hotel to Ambarukmo Mall, then to Candi Prambanan and Candi Boko. Tired but all of us have fun. Really enjoyed this sister company annual meeting. Satisfied!!!

Second Annual Meeting 

This was the meeting of the big company. Main task is to summarize the meeting but as a senior secretary I have many tasks. I am the organizing committee. I arranged the meals, chose the catering service, the snack. I gave the ice-breakers too, well I used the previous ice-breaker of first meeting, hehe. I am also the steering committee coordinator. So, I have to arrange my other steering committee and made the final summary of the meeting. Super tired, as the meeting ended very late at night, for 4 nights in a row. Tired physically, tired mentally. 

Too many tasks made me less focus. There are several out of hand situations. Like the catering was late, the lack of food, the other small meeting that want to change the result in every time, etc. There are frictions in the whole committee. I even lose my control and got angry to coworkers due their lack of responsibility. This was a hard one. 

At the end, everything went well. Thanks be to God. Thank You, Lord for providing me with strength. I couldn't do it without YOU.  

Now, my stamina is really at the lowest level. I have a stiff neck, hard to breathe, blood from nose, headache, gastric tummy, super sleepy, super tired. I need a break, need a vacation... 

Lesson to learn:

I need to improve my communication skill again, as I found out that my coworker didn't follow my order on how to finish the task I gave to them. I do like their initiative but their lack of responsibility is really a barrier to the team. 

As I quote from the main theme of the meeting: "ONE WORD, ONE ACT". 

Really need to implement this one in the team. We need everyone in the team to have one vision and act together to fulfill the vision.

Picture source:

http://comeniuspiazza.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/meeting-image21.jpg

Lesson: Thank You, Lord

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!!

I always try to reflect my year on Christmas. What I have achieved and what I have failed. I skipped last year because last year was the most heavy year of my life. I only have one wish in 2013, I wished to have a peaceful year. The Lord heard my prayer. 2013 is a peaceful year for me. I don't say that I have no problem at all. I have problems in 2013 but compare to what I have in 2012, this year is more calm and peace. 



In 2013, I rearrange my life after my father passed away. It's not easy but step by step I am getting stronger. 
I received many help, attention, and care from my friends. Their existence in my life is one of my strength. I gained more weight, I found love again, I am happy in 2013.

I would like to give thanks to the Lord for giving me a peaceful year. Thank you, Lord, for listening to my prayer and for providing what I need. Thank You for Your never ending love, Lord. You are my strength, You are my refuge. Thank You so much, Lord, thank You...

I also like to give thanks to my friends: 
Nit2x 
Thank you for supporting me in many ways and staying by my side. You are my little sister. 

IDS 
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to name your son and chose the date of his birth. Your life experience inspire me how to be strong. 

GH 
Thank you for making my dream to visit China come true and for your care about my health. You guided me when I am down, especially when my relationship with God was down. 

Blue Jasmine 
Thank you for your funny thought and careful attention. You always make me laugh and see my problem in different side

SY
Thank you for your kindness. You always make my appearance beautiful. 

TA
Thank you for always reminding me "This too shall pass".

AGN 
Thank you for loving me. You make me fall in love again when I don't want love anymore. 
I am happy. I love you.

Anna: “I don’t even know what true love is,”
Olaf: “I do! That’s when you put someone else’s needs before your own.”(Frozen, 2013, movie)

GA
Thank you for coming back to my life.You always know what I need to hear.

EC
Thank you for sharing life experience with me, opening my eyes to other's need and the beauty of countries you visited.

FS 
Who I consider as a second father. Thank you so much for your help and advice. You helped me to overcome my grieve. Thank you.

And for many other friends who I can't mention one by one. Thank you for supporting me throughout 2013. You are making me what I am today. 

Lesson to Learn:
Life is up and down. God never said life would be easy but He never left us alone. His love fulfill our need beyond our imagination. Thank You Lord, for the gift of life and for Your love in our life. "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more" - Melody Beattie

"Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift." (2 Corinthians 9:15)

Poem: Today, A Year Ago

Today, a year ago, I kissed your forehead for the last time. 

Today, a year ago, I whispered "I love you" to your ear for the last time. 

Today, a year ago, I held your hand for the last time.

Today, a year ago, I caressed your cheeks for the last time. 

Today, a year ago, I hugged you for the last time. 

Today a year ago, you passed away.

I love you, so much

I miss you, so much

Rest in peace, papa.

Lesson: Seeing Trials from a Different Side

An old friend called me last week; it’s been awhile since our last conversation. She knows me pretty well; we often discuss many things together. She asked me about my condition after several trials last year.  Once I told her that the lost of my father was my biggest trial of 2012.

She said, “When you lost your ex, it was like your whole world seems fall apart. When you have to take the surgery and remove your ovary, you cried a lot because you felt that your hope to have a child is gone. When you lost your dad, you cried till you can’t breathe.” Then she asked me this, “Have you ever blame God for your trials?”

I never blame God for what had happened. It was hard to let go of my ex because I love him so much. It was hard to let go of my ovary, because I lost my hope to have my own child. I learn my lesson to let go. I learn to let him go because I love him. I learn to let my hope fade away because God want my ovary back. Everything I have is from God, and if God wants it back, I shall not withhold.

Then she asked again, “Have you ever think that God wanted you to experience the two events to get you ready for the next big event? I know your biggest lost is the lost of your father.”

WOW! She really had me thinking…

Why I haven’t thought this way before? I always wonder why God wants me to learn to let go 3x in a year. Did I fail to learn the lesson? Now I got my answer through my friend. God prepared me very well to be able to stand strong when I lost my father. I have to be strong for my mother who almost kills herself to be with my dad in heaven. I have to be strong for my brother, sister in law, and niece. Friends told me how strong I am to face my trials. I said to them I am not that strong.

Lesson to learn:

To let go is very hard especially to let go the one you love. Get closer to God in each trial, He will make you stronger, He will give you the strength you need to face it. Thank You, Lord. Thank you, my friends, for supporting me all the way, for opening my eyes to see a different side of my trials.

“He gives strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak.” (Isaiah 40:29)

Picture source:

www.quotes-lover.com

Lesson: Paid Online Survey

I tried to find earning in the internet and a friend of mine suggested several ways: paid online chatting, paid online survey, make a blog, etc. I have tried paid chatting and paid surveys. So far the earning from this way is good even that I have to collect points which take a long time before I got my payment.

For me, the first site who gave me payment is: Aip Surveys.  This one is a local paid online survey. The payment is not cash but voucher. I can redeem my point with voucher from several shops or restaurants. The surveys are many which give me a lot of opportunity to collect many points. I usually redeem my points with shopping voucher, one time was dining voucher. I have joined this site for almost 3 years.

The second site is a global site, Global Test Market. This one pays me in cash. The only problem is... the points given by each survey is very small, so I have to work hard to be able to redeem my points. I have to reach 1000 points in order to redeem USD50. I had a doubt that the site can pay me who lives in this country, but it did. I received my first check on mid of October. Since the check has my name written wrongly in it, I have to return to GMI. It wasn't totally their fault because I didn't mention my middle name in the survey site. Last week I received a new check with a correct name. Thank you, Mr. Luke from GMI, who help me with this issue.

Lesson to learn:
God is amazing. He always provides me with what I need. I am in lack of money but my need is fulfilled in many ways. The help of friends who buy me food, the unexpected daily allowance, the check from GMI. Thank you, Lord for Your never ending love.

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." 
(Matthew 19:26, NIV)

Health: Cholesterol

Last September I did blood test when there's a promo at the apartment. I'll try to do it once a year since I have a bad health history yet sometimes my financial condition become a barrier to do it regulary.

This year result was bad on the cholesterol level. My total cholesterol level is high (250 from the normal range of <200). The composition is also bad where the bad cholesterol (LDL) is high too compare to the good cholesterol (HDL). I am so panic due this condition. Since my father passed away because of a heart attack and high cholesterol make me vulnerable to the heart attack risk, I'm really in stress.

Since I can't afford to go to the specialist, I seek online how to lower the cholesterol level. Some said that garlic can lower the level. So I start to take garlic. I also change my breakfast with oats. My father's friend who I consider as my second father told me to drink a generic medicine called Simvastatin. I bought it and it is cheap. The pharmacist told me that 10mg is enough for my case. I took it once a day before bed. Let's see the result within a month. I really wish my cholesterol will be lower. I will wrote the result later.

A bit further of Simvastatin
Simvastatin is in a group of drugs called HMG CoA reductase inhibitors, or "statins." It reduces levels of "bad" cholesterol (low-density lipoprotein, or LDL) and triglycerides in the blood, while increasing levels of "good" cholesterol (high-density lipoprotein, or HDL).

Simvastatin is used to lower cholesterol and triglycerides (types of fat) in the blood. Simvastatin is also used to lower the risk of stroke, heart attack, and other heart complications in people with diabetes, coronary heart disease, or other risk factors. This medicine is used in adults and children who are at least 10 years old.

Source: 

http://www.drugs.com

http://www.bristol-labs.co.uk/lib/pictures/products/Simvastatin.jpg

Lesson: Trust... Again...

Dear God,

This lesson in life always knock at my door. When can I pass this lesson, God? Sometimes I am very tired, God. When I tried to explain and people won't hear me. When I tried to explain again and people won't believe me. I really don't know what to do, God.

Thank you for always given me Your strength in every trial of trust, God. You're the only one who can understand me completely, You're the only one who can see beyond what others see in me. Thank you for trusting me through out the years, God.

Grant me Your peace, so I can let go with whole-hearted, God.

Yesus Tuhanku, Kau paling mengerti

Rapuh hati ini, letih jiwa ini

Jamah ya Tuhanku.. jamah ya Tuhanku

Sebab Engkaulah Tuhan yang paling mengerti 

(Siska - Yang Paling Mengerti)

Jesus, My God, You understand me the most

My fragile heart, my weary soul

Touch me, o Lord, touch me

For You, God, who understands

Lesson: Places to Go

Do you have dream to visit some places? I do. I found this picture at http://weheartit.com/ and when I saw it, I suddenly remember about my dream about places to go.

I remember when I read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne for the first time. The book said, to make your dream comes true, you have to visualize your dream every time. I usually not visualize my dream all the time. I just wish it once or twice. My dream sometimes comes true exactly when I forget about it. How funny is that.

Now, I want to try the theory from Rhonda Byrne by visualize my dream every time. See the picture in this entry, it called places to go. Hongkong, Dubai, Tokyo, New York, London, Paris.  I want to put this picture on my wall hanging rack just above my bed, so every time I open my eyes I will see the picture. I will put my first check mark symbol on Hongkong. I have visited the city only at the airport area, haha. May all my dream places to go come true. Amen.

Feeling: Is It A Blessing In Disguise?

I felt stuck with every problems that I face lately.
I am running out of energy, I feel sick. Why trials of life seems never end?

When I tell a friend about this, he suggested me to listen to this song which I found really suited to my situation. Laura Story - Blessings...

As I quote the lyric:

'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

But my question remain: Is it really a blessing in disguise?
I can't see the Lord's plan for me. I know He has a wonderful plan.
Grant me the strength I need, Lord, so I can face this.

Feeling: The Only Exception

The Only Exception by Paramore

The first time I heard this song was being sang by a musical contestant. I fall in love with the song directly. The song tells me about someone who doesn't believe in love. I asked my friend to download it for me and lately I hear the song in my head as I sing along each time I play it. 

Well you are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.

And I'm on my way to believing.
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing.

Do you believe in love?

After my previous love experience, I don't believe it anymore. I am tired. 

But I don't close my heart to love... I'm willing to try again... 

As I sing...
You are the only exception... and I'm on my way to believing