The Jealous, The Pain, and The Dark Side of Me

The Jealous
Last night I went out with my dad and my cousin to a mall. My dad bought a lot of stuffs which I categorized as “high class stuff”. This makes me realize how different I am to him. He lives in a high class society, while I am just an ordinary person.

Anyhow, I never learn my lesson in money with him (we always argue on money). Last night I want something so much. I really need this thing to replace the one I have which was broken. Unfortunately, the price is quite expensive. This month, my money is very tight. So, I can not afford it. I asked him to buy it for me but he refused. Got angry a bit, but my friend amused me by her joke so I decided to forget about it. Hell with it!!! I survive without it so far.

I SHOULDN’T ASK FOR IT. NEXT TIME… DON’T ASK!!! JUST COUNT YOUR BLESSING, HONEY!!! LEARN AND LEARN…

The Pain
This month the pain was unbearable because of my own mistake. I forget to drink the pain killer. It’s the tummy again and I got bored to face it each and every month. I tried everything… from vegetarian diet till acupuncture but the pain keeps coming back. Oh come on… aren’t you tired of me???

I don’t want to see the doctor again; I don’t want to do the same procedure and hear the statement of my health. I don’t know what I want to do with this pain. Maybe I should just get rid of my womb… and everything will be solved. O really??? I give up!

The Dark Side of Me

It’s like facing the wall when all the prayers unanswered. It starts to rock and question my faith. Lately I have face 3 big problem with money, parents, and pain. Keep asking why it happens, what I should learn from it, and how to get rid of it.

Suddenly I hear Him say, “Do you still believe in me? Am I too small for you?”

Faith looks across the storm; it does not doubt or stop to look at clouds and things without. Faith does not question why when all His ways are hard to understand, but trusts and prays. (Anon)