Poem: Wither

Don't you know how much I worry?

Don't you know how much I love you?  

Don't you know how much I miss you? 

I want to spend my time with you

Wish that you can feel me
Wish that you can see my love
Wish that you can touch this heart
and know how fragile I am

This soul starts to wither....

Love: Happy 1st Anniversary

I love you without knowing

How or when or from where

I love you straight forwardly

Without complexities or pride

So I love you because

I know no other way than this

(Pablo Neruda)

Happy 1st anniversary, honey

I love you so much...

May you hold this hands forever

My Funny and Yet Amazing God

Lately I have been facing a difficult problem which somehow burden me. I can't stop thinking to find a way out of it, but until today I still stuck with the problem. A problem that have haunt me for several years and keep going on. There are times when I feel it not as heavy as it seems yet in many times I feel it so heavy that I want to give up. Last week, when I feel how heavy the problem and how to solve it, I was in a lot of stress. My neck began to stiff and clogged nose more often, I am really in a difficult phase. 

During my lectio divina moment last week, God strengthen me with many scriptures that I read. Even for 3 days in a row He spoke to me about "don't worry", about "being still", and about "His beautiful plan for me". His words really encourage me and I want to share one of the words that I read. This words was brought to me by Joel Osteen on one of his Today's Word series. As I quote:

It was like God was saying, "I can make it rain whenever I want to. I can use a little cloud, a big cloud or no cloud. I'm God. I'm the All Powerful Creator of the universe. When I say rain, I don't need a cloud. When I say healing, I don't have to have medicine. When I say promotion, I don't need your boss's approval. When I say abundance, I don't need a bank. I'm not limited by the natural. I'm a supernatural God.

When I read this words, I laugh so hard until my friend turn her head and ask me what's wrong. Ha-ha. I like what Joel's wrote, it gave me a slap on my cheek which remind me how amazing my God is. This words really confirming of what I have been receiving in my lection divina moment. Again, God wants me to stay still and know that He is a supernatural God. He can do everything for me even when I think it's impossible. 

I slept well that night, knowing that I don't have to worry. Until now I don't have solution to my problem, but I feel less worry. I know God will help and His timing is perfect. Thank You, Lord, for being such a funny and amazing God to me.

Picture source:
http://www.missosology.info/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=146166

Fun: Me and Knitting

I have a new hobby now, it’s knitting. The idea to learn about knitting came from making souvenir for my father’s memorial prayer. It isn’t a must thing, to give souvenir to those who come to the prayer, but it’s like a custom here. We serve dinner and give souvenir in such memorial prayer.

small purse for rosary

The idea itself was to make a small purse for Rosary. I bought my purse at the cathedral long time ago and when I look at it, seems it is easy to make one like it. Ha-ha. It isn’t easy at all. I asked my friend, Nit2x, to study knitting together. Firstly we studied online, we watched video at YouTube and learned from it. 

Secondly, we asked our friend to teach us and we discovered it was not easy. Ha-ha.

My friend is talented, she studied faster than me. I was so behind her and feel hopeless. At that time, it was too little time to finish 40 small purses (in only 2 months away) and we merely expert in it. So, I cancelled the souvenir. My mom came with another idea for the souvenir.

Back to knitting.

There are knitting and crochet, I love knitting more than crochet. While my friend loves crochet more than knitting. But turn out, knitting needs crochet skill too. Ha-ha. Knitting tools are two needles and crochet tool is crochet hook. 

this is crochet tool

this is knitting tool

Right now, I am using a tool from Japan, it looks like loom. I made scarf with it. Already done with first scarf project, a green scarf for Nit2x and now I am doing my second scarf project. I tried to be expert in it, still need to learn how to end the project with crochet skill. It is a fun thing to do. I enjoy making scarf and wanting to learn more than scarf, such as making sock and beanie hat. I love my new hobby. 

my first project: green scarf

Picture source:

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01536/p_knitting-kit_1536394i.jpg

http://rosehavenyarn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/crochet-hook.jpg

Lesson: KEP

What do I think when I heard about evangelization? The first thing that come up into my mind is giving religion teaching to those who isn't Catholic and somehow I think it is a very hard duty for me. I think of it as a hard duty because for a Catholic, I know that I have to spread the Good News but interfering in someone's belief is too personal for me. Because religion is between God and the person and in that matter, no one should encounter or force a will. So, I try other ways in delivering Good News, for example by being a lector and joining choir.

To my surprise, I agreed to accompany my friend to take a course called KEP (Kursus Evangelisasi Pribadi / Personal Evangelization Mission Course). I never imagine before that I will take this course due my perception above. I thought the course was about studying the bible more deep but so far, it wasn't like that. The course itself is long, every Monday for 3 hours, and it will end on November. As the teacher explained, this course is about being an evangelist by telling others our own experience of God's love.

I still think the course is too heavy for me. I don't know if I can go on with the course till the end. It's not about refusing my duty as a Catholic. I am not ready for this kind of mission yet. But I
am already in it now, I believe that God has a plan for me in here. Help me, Lord to understand Your will in my life.

Picture source:
http://lavistachurchofchrist.org/