Good listening skills are vital to healthy relationships. Whether you’re strengthening a relationship or resolving a conflict, good listening skills can be a lifeline to peace. Listening is an essential part of communication. Being a good and patient listener helps you not only solve many problems, but also to see the world through the eyes of others, thereby opening your understanding and enhancing your capacity for empathy.
Here are some steps to enhance your good listening skills:
- Stop talking, be silent, and start to listen. It might sound obvious and trite, but one of the biggest obstacles to listening, for many people, is resisting the impulse to 'chime in'. Ask your friend what’s wrong, and really listen to the answer. Let them vent their fears, frustrations and other important feelings, maintaining eye contact and showing that you’re interested in what they have to say. Resist the urge to give advice, and just let them get it out.
- Place yourself in the other person’s shoes. It is often too easy to wonder about how what the other person is telling you is impacting you. Active listening is not about inward thinking. Instead, you must draw away from the temptation to do this by looking at the problems from the other person's perspective and actively trying to see his or her point of view.
- Reframe what you hear. Repeat some of the things they said. At the same time, encourage them with positive feedback. It is also very useful to summarize what the speaker is saying and restate it in your own words. This is a form of reassuring the speaker that you have truly been listening to what he or she is saying. It also provides them with an opportunity to correct any mistaken assumptions or misconceptions that may have arisen during the course of the conversation. This is an especially good technique to try when you find yourself getting frustrated or restless in your listening. Summarize and repeat back your understanding of what they’re saying so they know you’re hearing them, and focus on the emotions they might be feeling.
- Do not interrupt with what you feel or think about the topic being discussed. Wait for another person to ask your opinion before interrupting the flow of discussion. Active listening requires the listener to shelve his or her own opinions temporarily, and await appropriate breaks in the conversation for summarizing. Abstain from giving direct advice. Instead, let him or her talk the situation out and find his or her own way. Just because someone is speaking to you, do not presume that they are asking for your input! Be patient and respect pauses. Listening is about understanding another person, not about making suggestions (unless asked).
- Help Brainstorm. Rather than giving advice in the beginning, which cuts off further exploration of feelings and other communication, wait until they’ve gotten their feelings out, and then help them brainstorm solutions.
- Do not give advice unless requested.
- Never criticize while listening.
- Listening is about creating a caring environment in which the other person feels encourage by your ability to understand.
- Do not judge anyone for their opinion or action.
- Trust the process for everyone has a unique thought process and ways to express their self.
- The more you listen, the more trusted you become.
Source:
stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/howtolisten.htm
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Listener
1 comment:
Well, it is very difficult to listen without give any comments...hehehe...it's against normal human reaction...hahaha...but it's not impossible
Post a Comment