Song: Terbaik Untukmu

I was looking for a song that represent my feeling, my sad mood, my sorrow heart. Tried to hear some old Japanese' song which come to my mind, but still cannot catch my feeling. Until I heard a song at the radio. It's been awhile that I listened to the radio. Yesterday evening as my way home from office, I played the radio on my phone. Searched from my favorite radio channel and found this song. 

Terbaik Untukmu / The Best for You
by Tangga

Lyric:
Aku sadar kalau kini / I realized now
Kita sudah smakin menjauh / We are growing apart
Sempat aku berpikir ini / I thought
Kau yg menginginkannya / You wanted this
Lepas dari pelukku / Free yourself from me

* Oh kini aku sadari / Oh now I realized
Ini salahku / It's all my fault
Tak ingin ku terlambat dan sesali / Don't want to be late and regret it

Reff: 

Maafkanlah bila ku selalu / I'm sorry if I always
Membuatmu marah dan benci padaku / Make you angry and hate me
Ku lakukan itu semua / I did all that
Hanya tuk buatmu bahagia / Only to make you happy

Mungkin ku cuma tak bisa pahami / Maybe I cannot understand
Bagaimana cara tunjukkan maksudku / How to show my intention
Aku cuma ingin jadi terbaik untukmu / I just want the best for you

Aku ingin kau tetap di sini bersamaku / I want you to stay here with me
Jangan Pergi / Please don't go
Berikan satu kesempatan / Give me one more chance
Untuk ku membuktikan / To prove to you
Sesungguhnya cintaku / My real love

Repeat *
Repeat reff

Dedicated to someone, I lost you...

Tried to be honest & exposed my deepest feeling...

Should I remain in silent while my heart hurts in many ways?

Unworthy to be fight for... that's me!

Health: Me and My Sensitive Teeth

"Sensitive teeth is often detected when we eat or drink something hot, cold, sweet, or sour. The pain can be sharp and sudden and can shoot deep into the nerve endings of your tooth."

I have sensitive teeth, a very bad one. Lately when I drink even normal room temperature water, it can cause me so much pain. I already used sensitive toothpaste but it didn't help. The pain gets worse day by day, so I went to my dentist.

What cause sensitive teeth?
"You get sensitive teeth when your gums pull back and expose the surface beneath, called the dentin. This soft layer makes up the inner part and roots, which have thousands of tiny tubes that lead to the tooth's nerve center (the pulp). These channels allow the trigger -- for example, the hot, cold, or sweet food -- to reach the nerve in your tooth, which results in the pain you feel."

Teeth Structure

There are other things that can cause sensitive teeth. My dentist said the wrong way of brushing your teeth can cause it too. When the dentist checked me out, a little touch of her tool cause me pain. It located at the canine right lower teeth. The gum was lower than the other. She asked whether I used sensitive toothpaste for sensitive teeth, and I confirmed it. She said the only thing that can help me was to give white filling (bonding) to cover exposed root surface. She said this procedure usually works for sensitive teeth. I let her do it.

It was pretty painful and awkward after the filling. I feel a bit pain as I ate for several days. Now, I get used to the filling and no longer feel pain. Even though the big problem already solved, I still have another sensitive teeth at the upper level. That night, the dentist tried to find which one, yet still unable to discover it. The pain for sensitivity become less now. But I really need to find out the upper level sensitive teeth.

The dentist also recommended me to use dental floss instead of toothpick. She said toothpick can also be the cause to sensitive teeth. Well, I never use dental floss. She suggested to use the one with handle. I already bought it but until now I still don't know how to use it, haha. Me and my sensitive teeth!

Dental floss with handle

Knowledge source:

http://www.webmd.com/oral-health/guide/tooth-sensitivity

Picture source:

http://biology-igcse.weebly.com/human-teeth-and-dental-decay.html

http://www.dentistdentalcare.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/flossing-brush.jpg

Lesson: The Magic

It’s been 2 years since my father passed away and I still think of him everyday. He was a wonderful father to me. He was the one who thought me to love reading. My first novel was called “A Woman of Substance” by Barbara Taylor Bradford. I was so shock when he brought me the novel, it was so thick (more or less 944 pages). For me who wasn't like to read, it was a heavy book. Hehe.

That wasn't the first book my father bought for me, he bought a lot of book since I was a little. Story books, school books, and many other books. I have one last book that he bought me. He knew I love this author. That day, when we passed through a book store, he said “It’s a new book from Rhonda. Do you want to read it?” I replied, “Yes.” He bought me that book, called “The Magic”.

“In The Magic, Rhonda Byrne reveals this life-changing knowledge to the world. Then, on an incredible 28-day journey, she teaches you how to apply this knowledge in your everyday life. No matter who you are, no matter where you are, no matter what your current circumstances, The Magic is going to change your entire life!”

The last time I read this book was the day when my dad passed away.  Since that day, I never open the book anymore. On that day, I read the Day-15 Journey. It was about magically heal your relationship and the example was about heal relationship with someone who already passed away. Never have thought that my father will pass away that day. I was so devastated and too sad to read the book again.

Now, as a memory of him, I will start to read the book again. I will try to follow each day journey inside the book and learn from it. Thank you, papa, for this book. I love you, always have, and always will. 

Song: Sampai Akhir

Last week, I heard this song repeatedly. A coworker who will marry next year keep playing this song until the time of office hour began. It's a beautiful song that has a deep meaning. The song itself was sang by a couple (the singer and his wife) on their wedding day.

It's a perfect song because it's like a wedding vow. So, Jessi & Jeffrey (my coworker & ex-coworker) who will marry next year, I wish you can hold on to your love forever as the song said. In every situation that you may face in the future, always put love above anything. Wish your wedding will be as beautiful as you two.

Here's the video and below I tried to translate the lyric:

Lyric:

SAMPAI AKHIR

by Judika & Duma Rilis Silalahi

Kasih ku berjanji selalu menemani / My love I promise to stay by your side
Saat kau bersedih, saat kau menangis / When you sad, when you cry

Aaa.. kan ku jaga / I will protect
Aaa.. segenap cinta yang ada untukmu / All my love for you

Selama nafasku masih berdesah / As long as I shall breathe
Dan jantungku terus memanggil indah namamu / and my heart keeps calling your name beautifully
Takkan pernah hati ini mendua / This heart will stay true
Sampai akhir hidup ini / Until the rest of my life

Kasih ku berjanji selalu menemani / My love I promise to stay by your side
Saat kau bersedih, saat kau menangis / When you sad, when you cry

Aaa.. kan ku jaga / I will protect
Aaa.. segenap cinta yang ada / All my love for you
Aaa.. percayalah / Trust me
Aaa.. satu cintaku untukmu / My love for you

Selama nafasku masih berdesah / As long as I shall breathe
Dan jantungku terus memanggil indah namamu / and my heart keeps calling your name beautifully
Takkan pernah hati ini mendua / This heart will stay true
Sampai akhir hidup ini / Until the rest of my life

I also dedicate this song to someone, when his heart stay true to me

Lesson: Garbage

I love clean, like to see a clean environment. During my stressful time or relax time, I try to clean my apartment. Usually this activity makes me forget about my problems. I can't say that I am a freak to cleanliness, I really really like clean environment. This fondness was built by my father on how he loved to stay clean. Every Sunday, he moved all the furniture in a new place in order to clean the dust from it. 

It's been awhile that I watched my neighbors with their garbage. At the apartment in each floor we have a garbage disposal place which located at the end of the row. It's not far to reach, 2-4 minutes away by walking. I don't know which neighbor but there's someone who throw away their garbage in front of the Emergency Exit Door. Once, I ignored it. Second, I ignored it. And they kept doing it... Until last Tuesday night, as I entered my hall, I smell awful things which came out from their garbage. My unit is in front of the emergency exit door. I was so deeply mad, so I wrote a note in a piece of paper saying:

"THIS IS AN EMERGENCY EXIT DOOR, NOT A GARBAGE DISPOSAL PLACE"

In the morning I found something shocking... the person who throw those garbage, moved it to my door. WTF!!!! Oh my God, how can someone be so careless? Hello... this is my door! Aaarrggghhh.... I was so furious, so angry. I can't pray at all that day cause I was super upset. So I made a promise, that if I came home from work and still find another garbage in front of my unit, I will take it and put it at each front door of my next door and next door and next door... Let's see how they will react. 

When I returned that evening, no more garbage in front of my door & the emergency exit door. Until today, no more garbage there. I am so relief. Let's see how long it will last. I will file serious complaint to the management if this kind of thing happen in the future. 

Picture source:

http://watsupplies.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Garbage_Bags.jpg

Lesson: Even though We Weren't Close

Even though we weren't close

I always tried to visit you 

Even though we weren't close

I always remember you in my prayer

Even though we weren't close

Losing you cause a deep sadness

Even though we weren't close

I love you, I will always miss you

Rest in peace, Embah

Ambarawa, 26.10.2014

Love: Saying I Love You

Today is my father birthday. He already passed away for almost 2 years. In the memory of his birthday, I like to share one of the valuable lesson he taught me. Every morning, he sent a morning greeting:

GOOD MORNING, N
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY
GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Even the morning before he passed away, he sent it. I know how much he loves me, and believe that he still loves me. One day on my dream, he came just to say " I love you, N". Oh, how I miss his voice so much. Since he passed away, I continue his legacy. I always send the morning greeting to mom, my brother, my in-law, my niece. It's not just a habit or merely a saying, but the meaning is deeper than that. 

I want everyone I love know that they are loved by me. I send the morning greeting with all my heart. So, if today shall be my last day on earth, I want them to remember how much I love them. 

I love you, R 
I love you, M 
I love you, D 
I love you, I 
I love you, Tata
I love you so much... always have, always will...

I love it when I receive a reply from them. They always made my day with it. 
Thank you, pa, for the valuable lesson. I will continue your legacy. 

Happy Birthday, papa.

Picture source:
http://www.hslda.org/cms/?q=blog/saying-i-love-you-your-family%E2%80%A6how-about-starting-new-tradition

Love: Opening an Old Book

You asked me to open an old book

An old book that  I locked and stored in a chest 

An old book that I threw away....

An old book that I have forgotten because I am with you

I opened it and all the memories came back

The sweet and sad memories 

The moment when I was loved 

The moment when I was accused

But then...

You accused me of lying 

Just like the old book said

You opened my old wound 

You put salt in it with your accusations

You made the wound bigger and deeper now

Lord, I don't know how to handle this

I am scared, I am crushed...

Hold this hands, Lord

I need You

Picture:

www.pinterest.com

Travel: Lombok - Gili Trawangan

This September is a busy month for most of us in the office because we have a special event. This passed two years, office always held an event on its birthday. This time the event took place in Lombok, an island in West Nusa Tenggara, Indonesia. The main event took place in Gili Trawangan, small island at the northwest coast of Lombok. The preparation of this event was really exhausting, meeting after meeting, with a lot of misunderstanding until the very last minutes.

Gili Trawangan
To reach this place, we need to drive for an hour to the harbor called Teluk Nare. Then we have to take 30 minutes boat ride to reach Gili Trawangan. There are 3 Gilis: Gili Air, Gili Trawangan, and Gili Meno. This islands are perfect for honeymoon place, so private, beautiful beach and breath-taking sunset view.

The event started with a Hawaiian BBQ Dinner by the beautiful beach of Gili Trawangan. An outdoor dinner with live music and fun quizzes. Like usually in each company event, I was the host of this dinner. My outlook preparation was really bad, cause 15 minutes before the dinner started I still handled the room distribution while the hotel and tour agent already gave up. I was so upset, only wish to go to the beach and scream, but the beach already crowded by our guests. For the first time of my life, I host a show with wet hair because I washed my hair at the last minutes. What a hectic day! Thanks to Nit2x who finally took care of the room distribution.

The next event was business meeting. The hotel preparation of meeting room was not good. Another headache stroke me. At the end of the meeting my co-host decide to give an offering with wasn't on our agenda. He definitely sabotaged my fun games event. I just said... Whatever! Since no one came for my fun games event, I am so thankful because I finally can sat, relaxed, and enjoyed the beautiful sunset of the island.

Back to Lombok
The next day we moved back to Lombok and continued with city tour. For me, Lombok is very hot and dry. The first stop was the Pearl Shop. Lombok is famous with the pearl farm. There are sea pearl and fresh water pearl. Sea pearl is very expensive compare to the fresh water pearl. I bought 3 rings and a bracelet of fresh water pearl.  Second stop was the gift shop, more to food gift shop. Lombok is famous with the honey bee and seaweed jelly.

Third stop was lunch, which I cannot remember where. All I can remember is I don't like the food and I cannot eat it because it's spicy, the local dish called "Plecing Kangkung & Ayam Taliwang". Extra hot, extra spicy. Only eat the rice and fried tofu. Well, the tour agent feel pity on me so they requested non spicy fried chicken for me.

Fourth stop was "Sade Village" - a traditional village of Sasak (the native of Lombok). At this village I saw how they preserve the culture by staying at the local house with minimum facility. For living, they farm and sell special fabric called "Kain Tenun or Songket". They have to knit it for days even months. What an amazing skills. They said, for a girl to be able to get married, she has to be able to produce 3 fabrics. There's a phrase of Lombok - a city of thousand thief. Wait... don't judge yet. Thousand thief because in the Sasak Culture, the man must kidnap the woman in order to marry the woman. Okay, who wants to kidnap me? Hahaha...

Fifth stop was Narmada Garden - an old kingdom. This place built in 1727 by the king of Mataram - "Anak Agung Ngurah Karang Asem". Beautiful garden but I was to tired to enjoy it.

The last stop was dinner at Furama. The food was good. I closed the entire event that night. Finally my job as host was done, three days in a row of being a host / master of ceremony. It was fun, it was tiring, yet I am thankful to be able to contribute in this event.

Lesson to learn:
Visiting Lombok was my dream in 2013. I was planning to visit this place but the cost was my limitation. To my surprise, this year the dream came true. I visited Lombok and Gili Trawangan for free. I enjoyed the beautiful scenery. God knows how much I love sunset, so He gave me a special time to enjoy it. Even though I have to work during the trip, but having my dream comes true, I don't mind at all.

Thank You, Lord, for the opportunity to visit one of my dream place.
Thank You for sending help in a perfect time so the event run smoothly.
Thank You for the beautiful, breath-taking sunset moment.
Thank You for giving me strength and health.
Your love never stop to amaze me, Lord

Another dream come true... looking forward to tell you all my dreams to You, Jesus.

Lesson: Birthday Wish

My birthday was last month. I wrote this entry before my birthday but forgot to schedule to publish it. I still want to publish it now even though it's late.

On my birthday, I thank God for loving me for the last 35 years of my life. He always be there for me in every step. Thank you, mom, for delivering me to this world, your love always with me. Thank you my brother and sister in law for the dinner. Thank you, honey for singing me the birthday song. Thank you my little sister for the birthday cake & knitting tools. Thank you my big sister for the new batik shirt. Thank you my best friend for the books, eyeliner, fragrant soap, ethic pants, etc. Thank you for making my birthday so special. 

On my birthday, I have 2 wishes.

First wish is to be able to stay healthy. I know how weak my body is. I know I can't sleep without medicine. I know I have to regularly see doctor. But.... this last 2 years, I barely do it because of some reasons. I am afraid to know about my health. I am afraid to know the result as I see doctor or medical report. Due this reason I often avoid going to see doctors. The other reason is my financial situation. Well, my financial situation is unstable. Seeing a doctor isn't cheap especially when the doctor is a specialist. I keep trying to save some money to see doctor, but I end up with no money. 

Second wish is to be able to see my boyfriend in real. We have a long distance relationship and it's been a year now. Although I was afraid to have another LDR, my boyfriend was the one who convinced me that this time will be better. Our relationship wasn't smooth, we often fight, argue and misunderstand, we broke up several times too. In spite of it, we still together and try to fight for our love. I really wish I can meet him in person on my birthday.

Love: Wedding Dress

This evening I watched another episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" on TLC. I love watching this show, cause I learn a lot about finding wedding dress. This show makes me wonder what would it be like when I find my own dress one day, would I be wearing it one day?

What I learn? Hmm...
I learn that finding a wedding dress is not easy at all. The bride-to-be have fantasy about her dress but sometimes when she tries the dress, she doesn't like it or she doesn't look good in it.

I learn that there are many type of woman's body and to my surprise, there will always be a dress for every type. So either you're thin or fat, either you're tall or short, there will be a dress for you. It might be hard to find and make you want to give up, but don't give up just yet. There's a dress for you.

I learn that too many person who help you decide, sometimes make you confuse. So, just focus on small family member such as parents, sister & brother, your BFFs. Just follow your heart when the opinion isn't what you expected.

I learn that making a decision on such a big commitment in marriage isn't an easy. The most important isn't about the dress, but the life after the wedding. The upcoming challenges are more big. For you, all bride-to-be, keep believing that you will find your dress, be happy, be beautiful. Always holds your love to one another and put it above everything and you can face any upcoming storms as you enter the marriage life.

Poem: Wither

Don't you know how much I worry?

Don't you know how much I love you?  

Don't you know how much I miss you? 

I want to spend my time with you

Wish that you can feel me
Wish that you can see my love
Wish that you can touch this heart
and know how fragile I am

This soul starts to wither....

Love: Happy 1st Anniversary

I love you without knowing

How or when or from where

I love you straight forwardly

Without complexities or pride

So I love you because

I know no other way than this

(Pablo Neruda)

Happy 1st anniversary, honey

I love you so much...

May you hold this hands forever

My Funny and Yet Amazing God

Lately I have been facing a difficult problem which somehow burden me. I can't stop thinking to find a way out of it, but until today I still stuck with the problem. A problem that have haunt me for several years and keep going on. There are times when I feel it not as heavy as it seems yet in many times I feel it so heavy that I want to give up. Last week, when I feel how heavy the problem and how to solve it, I was in a lot of stress. My neck began to stiff and clogged nose more often, I am really in a difficult phase. 

During my lectio divina moment last week, God strengthen me with many scriptures that I read. Even for 3 days in a row He spoke to me about "don't worry", about "being still", and about "His beautiful plan for me". His words really encourage me and I want to share one of the words that I read. This words was brought to me by Joel Osteen on one of his Today's Word series. As I quote:

It was like God was saying, "I can make it rain whenever I want to. I can use a little cloud, a big cloud or no cloud. I'm God. I'm the All Powerful Creator of the universe. When I say rain, I don't need a cloud. When I say healing, I don't have to have medicine. When I say promotion, I don't need your boss's approval. When I say abundance, I don't need a bank. I'm not limited by the natural. I'm a supernatural God.

When I read this words, I laugh so hard until my friend turn her head and ask me what's wrong. Ha-ha. I like what Joel's wrote, it gave me a slap on my cheek which remind me how amazing my God is. This words really confirming of what I have been receiving in my lection divina moment. Again, God wants me to stay still and know that He is a supernatural God. He can do everything for me even when I think it's impossible. 

I slept well that night, knowing that I don't have to worry. Until now I don't have solution to my problem, but I feel less worry. I know God will help and His timing is perfect. Thank You, Lord, for being such a funny and amazing God to me.

Picture source:
http://www.missosology.info/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=146166

Fun: Me and Knitting

I have a new hobby now, it’s knitting. The idea to learn about knitting came from making souvenir for my father’s memorial prayer. It isn’t a must thing, to give souvenir to those who come to the prayer, but it’s like a custom here. We serve dinner and give souvenir in such memorial prayer.

small purse for rosary

The idea itself was to make a small purse for Rosary. I bought my purse at the cathedral long time ago and when I look at it, seems it is easy to make one like it. Ha-ha. It isn’t easy at all. I asked my friend, Nit2x, to study knitting together. Firstly we studied online, we watched video at YouTube and learned from it. 

Secondly, we asked our friend to teach us and we discovered it was not easy. Ha-ha.

My friend is talented, she studied faster than me. I was so behind her and feel hopeless. At that time, it was too little time to finish 40 small purses (in only 2 months away) and we merely expert in it. So, I cancelled the souvenir. My mom came with another idea for the souvenir.

Back to knitting.

There are knitting and crochet, I love knitting more than crochet. While my friend loves crochet more than knitting. But turn out, knitting needs crochet skill too. Ha-ha. Knitting tools are two needles and crochet tool is crochet hook. 

this is crochet tool

this is knitting tool

Right now, I am using a tool from Japan, it looks like loom. I made scarf with it. Already done with first scarf project, a green scarf for Nit2x and now I am doing my second scarf project. I tried to be expert in it, still need to learn how to end the project with crochet skill. It is a fun thing to do. I enjoy making scarf and wanting to learn more than scarf, such as making sock and beanie hat. I love my new hobby. 

my first project: green scarf

Picture source:

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01536/p_knitting-kit_1536394i.jpg

http://rosehavenyarn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/crochet-hook.jpg

Lesson: KEP

What do I think when I heard about evangelization? The first thing that come up into my mind is giving religion teaching to those who isn't Catholic and somehow I think it is a very hard duty for me. I think of it as a hard duty because for a Catholic, I know that I have to spread the Good News but interfering in someone's belief is too personal for me. Because religion is between God and the person and in that matter, no one should encounter or force a will. So, I try other ways in delivering Good News, for example by being a lector and joining choir.

To my surprise, I agreed to accompany my friend to take a course called KEP (Kursus Evangelisasi Pribadi / Personal Evangelization Mission Course). I never imagine before that I will take this course due my perception above. I thought the course was about studying the bible more deep but so far, it wasn't like that. The course itself is long, every Monday for 3 hours, and it will end on November. As the teacher explained, this course is about being an evangelist by telling others our own experience of God's love.

I still think the course is too heavy for me. I don't know if I can go on with the course till the end. It's not about refusing my duty as a Catholic. I am not ready for this kind of mission yet. But I
am already in it now, I believe that God has a plan for me in here. Help me, Lord to understand Your will in my life.

Picture source:
http://lavistachurchofchrist.org/

Lesson: Easter 2014

This year, I really celebrate Easter by myself with no family around. Actually I have a plan to celebrate Easter at my hometown but since I have a task to do in Church I rescheduled my trip. As mom already has a busy schedule in her community for Easter, she can't join me here.

Some years ago, I was chosen to be a Lector on Good Friday's mass. I was so excited to be trusted in such a big mass. But... that day, I have a massive stomach ache due my endometriosis, which made me unable to stand straight and walk. I cancelled the task in last minutes. I tried so hard to find a replacement and finally found one. I was so sad because unable to do this task.

Last month, I received a phone from the lector coordinator. She informed me that they elected me to be the Lector for Good Friday. I was surprised cause I already have ticket to go to hometown. I was confuse, at one side this task is like a redemption for my previous one, and at another side my mom will be alone. Difficult to decide... I finally choose to do the lector.

My task was for the first reading from the Book of the Prophet Isaiah 52:13-53:12. What a long reading! As I study every Friday and Sunday with the lector's tutor, I feel nervous to read this. How to get the audience full attention with such long reading? How to keep them from sleepy? I studied a lot. I learnt how to read it lively and gracefully.

The day has come for me to be Lector. I practiced since morning, the mass started at 2PM. I did it well even though the electricity sometimes off I tried to speak as loud as I could. I prayed that the electricity won't go off again after my turn. God hears me although the electricity went off again during the Gospel for several seconds.

Thank You, Lord, for giving me the opportunity to serve your people. Thank you to Mr. Agus (tutor) and Fanda (Lector Coordinator).

Picture source:
https://www1.villanova.edu/villanova/mission/campusministry/liturgicallife/lector.html
http://thebreakfastklub.com/open-easter-sunday

Quote: This is About...

I saw this picture on my friend profile and asked her, "Ruthie, may I copy paste the picture?" She said, "Monggo" (in English: go ahead). The quote in this picture touched my heart, it's beautiful. Here is the picture and I will translate in English.

Translation:
This is not about older, same age, or younger.
This is about balancing life and walking in togetherness.
This is about giving peace and comfort to your heart, and loving endlessly.
This is about laughing together, supporting and praying for each other.
This is about speaking freely on everything without thinking worthy or not.
When the world is so cruel, he/she is your place to go home.
Who can make you very patient and try to understand even it's difficult.


Such a beautiful quote as my final plea to you...
When everything is falling apart, remember this... I love you, always have, always will...

Prayer: A Prayer For You

I found this beautiful prayer in my friend page. I really think this is a beautiful prayer and with his permission, I post it in my blog. I pray this prayer for you too, my friends...

A PRAYER FOR YOU, MY FRIENDS
by Michel Yu

I pray,
that you will find a person who treats you right
that will accept you for who you are
that will not take you for granted
that will appreciate you as the Lord appreciates His creations

I pray,
that if it's "Thy will be done"
then let it be that God's will
is to grant you happiness
in this life and the next one in eternity

I pray,
that God will grant you understanding,
to know that God loves you very much,
that nothing in your life happens beyond His control

I pray,
that the Lord will reveal Himself in His ways
to let you know that His plan is perfect
and finally I pray,
that God will grant you patience,
as everything will be beautiful in His time.
Amen

Journey: Kuala Lumpur 2014

Along time ago as I opened a magazine, there was a post regarding travelling. In that post some people explained how the build their dream to go on vacation each year. How they save their money, how they get the VISA, how they enjoy their journey. I said to myself, I want to be able to go aboard once a year. Thanks be to God, I manage to fulfill that dream.

KL Skyline Night

http://upload.wikimedia.org/

My journey to Kuala Lumpur was my fourth time. Aren't you bored with the city already? Haha. I know everyone will ask me that. A bit bored but there are always new things to study and visit. 

There were several new places I visited in this trip, such as: Batu Caves, Pavilion Mall, and Central Market.
Batu Caves was always be in the schedule in previous visit, and I am glad that I finally have time to visit it. It's a Hindu shrine, a beautiful place indeed. I wish I could climb those 272 stairs, but was too tired to do so.
Pavilion Mall is like a another luxurious mall, but my aim was the fountain in front of it. A fountain of three cups, the trademark of the place. Beautiful art work! Central market is a place that sell various handicrafts. We can buy many things here, from T-shirt, Batik, and many souvenirs. 

This journey was actually a way to have a family holiday for me. I promised my parents to have this journey in January 2013, but I have to cancel it as my father passed away on December 2012. This trip is dedicated to you, Papa. I wish you are with me and mom visiting this country.
I love you so much, papa & mama.

Health: Fibroadenoma Again

I took a health examination using a tool. The paramedic said, this tool is used by the hospital for people who are afraid to blood and hypodermic needle. The test is short but pretty amazed with the result. There are several result that need to be noted.

First, I have too many nicotine in my lung. I don't know how it got there as I don't smoke. Maybe this is the cause of my difficulty to breathe, but still need a further examination.

Second, there's a sign of Fibroadenoma. I have removed my fibroadenoma long time ago. The oncologist told me that the tumor might appear again. I used to check up every year, but since the relocation of the hospital, I hardly do it anymore. I tried to sense the lump but I can't feel it, maybe it was too small. I am really afraid that I have to do another surgery again this year. What to do? What to do?

Lesson: January - Meeting Month

January will always be a busy month for me. Meeting and meeting all the time. This January is the busiest month than before. Usually in January, we have 3 annual meetings in the office, but probably this time only 2 annual meeting. The other one will be held on February.

First Annual Meeting

The first one is the annual meeting of a sister company in the company group. My task is to summarize the meeting and to create fun games. Meeting was held in Jogjakarta, I like this city. The weather wasn't friendly cause we are having raining season. Two days of meeting which always end late at night. It was difficult to stay focus with such long hours of meeting. One of my job was to make ice-breaker, so everyone can be fresh and focus again on the meeting. 

It wasn't easy to find a good ice-breaker games. We need to think games that can build sense of belonging and team work. My coworker and I managed to give good ice-breakers during the meeting. We laughed, we have fun, we can focus well during the meeting. Beside ice-breakers, we also created an Amazing Race. We made them run and do many things, started from the hotel to Ambarukmo Mall, then to Candi Prambanan and Candi Boko. Tired but all of us have fun. Really enjoyed this sister company annual meeting. Satisfied!!!

Second Annual Meeting 

This was the meeting of the big company. Main task is to summarize the meeting but as a senior secretary I have many tasks. I am the organizing committee. I arranged the meals, chose the catering service, the snack. I gave the ice-breakers too, well I used the previous ice-breaker of first meeting, hehe. I am also the steering committee coordinator. So, I have to arrange my other steering committee and made the final summary of the meeting. Super tired, as the meeting ended very late at night, for 4 nights in a row. Tired physically, tired mentally. 

Too many tasks made me less focus. There are several out of hand situations. Like the catering was late, the lack of food, the other small meeting that want to change the result in every time, etc. There are frictions in the whole committee. I even lose my control and got angry to coworkers due their lack of responsibility. This was a hard one. 

At the end, everything went well. Thanks be to God. Thank You, Lord for providing me with strength. I couldn't do it without YOU.  

Now, my stamina is really at the lowest level. I have a stiff neck, hard to breathe, blood from nose, headache, gastric tummy, super sleepy, super tired. I need a break, need a vacation... 

Lesson to learn:

I need to improve my communication skill again, as I found out that my coworker didn't follow my order on how to finish the task I gave to them. I do like their initiative but their lack of responsibility is really a barrier to the team. 

As I quote from the main theme of the meeting: "ONE WORD, ONE ACT". 

Really need to implement this one in the team. We need everyone in the team to have one vision and act together to fulfill the vision.

Picture source:

http://comeniuspiazza.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/meeting-image21.jpg

Prayer: A Father's Prayer

For this last several days I dreamed about my father and end up crying. I can't remember the dreams very much in detail but I remember what I said to him before I woke up. I said to him, "Why you go away, papa?" and when he said that he need to go, I said to him, "Please don't go, papa!" 

As I reflected my dream, I can only say that deep in my heart I haven't wholeheartedly let go of him. We live so far away, so we hardly meet. It makes the separation with him easier to bear. But the guilt of not being able to help him makes me ask those questions in my dream. We can't control our dream, I believe it solely speak the truth of our longing. 

In a deep longing for him, I opened our chat history. I read it one by one and it made me cry again. I was stunned to read one of our conversation about me asking him to pray. That time I was very sad due a broken relationship with my ex. Here is his prayer in original language: 

+ Dalam nama Bapa dan Putra dan Roh Kudus. Amin.

Ya Allah Bapa yang penuh kasih, dengan penuh keyakinan aku datang di hadapan-Mu, sambil percaya bahwa Engkau menginginkan kesejahteraan dan kebahagiaan putri kami. Penuhilah hatinya dengan Roh-Mu, sehingga ketika putri kami berhadapan dengan kesulitan dan kecemasan, ia dapat mengingat cinta-Mu yang abadi, dan percaya akan janji bahwa Engkau akan hadir bersamanya. Ya Yesus, hadirlah bersama putri kami, dan berilah ia keberanian dan kekuatan. Bunda Maria, bunda kami, jadilah pengantara untuk mendapatkan rahmat-rahmat yang sangat putri kami butuhkan saat ini dari Bapa di Surga dan dari Putra-Mu, Yesus.
Amin.

+ Dalam nama Bapa dan Putra dan Roh Kudus. Amin.

The translation of his prayer:

+ In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
O God Loving Father, with confidence I come before Thee, as I believe that You desire the welfare and happiness of our daughter. Fill her heart with your Spirit, so when our daughter deals with difficulty and anxiety, she can remember Your love is immortal, and believe in the promise that You will be with her. O Jesus, please be with our daughter, and give her courage and strength. Mary, our Mother, please be a mediator to obtain graces that our daughter need right now from the Father in Heaven and from Thy Son, Jesus.
Amen.
+ In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Oh, papa.... I really miss you... :'(