There is You

There is someone next to me

I can feel an angel close by

There is you with me

My angel without wings...

------------------------------------------------------

Dedicated to: my BFF - you know who you are

New Gadget: Blackberry Storm 9550

Another evolution of my blackberry experience, this time I try blackberry Storm 9550. Well, this one actually not mine, but I have the privilege to use it. Thank you, AB!

I have some difficulty with this blackberry. I really love QWERTY keypad and slightly dislike touch screen.
My first problem with this one is the touch screen which actually is a click screen - meaning I really have to click it till the sound click and the screen completely press then the screen show the icon or character that I want. Second, I can't type quickly with this one. As a comparison, if I type a sentence, the others with qwerty keypad can type 2-3 sentences. I really don't like it. Third, the 3.2MP camera is not good enough, compare to my old Gemini. This problem may arouse since I didn't know the best way to set the camera or the image resulted by it. So, it's not completely the phone mistake.

This is an opinion from someone who dislike touch screen, probably not objective enough :-D. I will pick Dakota as a solution as it have touch screen and qwerty keypad in one phone. Hmm, who wants to give me Dakota??? :-D

Picture is taken from: 
http://news.softpedia.com/newsImage/BlackBerry-Storm-2-9550-Makes-an-Official-Debut-2.jpg/

I am Waiting

We have started something impossible.

I am standing here, waiting for you.

Picture is taken from: www.weheartit.com 

Promise Me You'll Try

Just had an argument with my love one and this song really fit my current situation.

PROMISE ME YOU'LL TRY
by Jennifer Lopez

I know it's on your heart
That a love like ours shall never fall apart
You're so afraid of the rain
So I will take your hand
And I'll love you in the best way that I can
And I only expect the same

[CHORUS:]
Don't promise me forever
Don't promise me the sun and sky
Don't pretend to know you'll never make me cry
Just hold me now
And promise me you'll try

Though I'm sure of what I feel
Never thought a love so true felt so unreal
And I'm a little afraid myself
But if you love me day by day
With an honest heart and just a little faith
Baby time will tell the tale

If you read this entry, I just want you to know that I only ask you to try...

New Gadget: Mini Speaker Nakamichi

I received an early Christmas gift this year. Quite shocking because the gift was from someone who never give a Christmas gift before. Actually not a surprise because I saw the gift first before he wraps it. When he handed my the gift, I already know what's inside. Here is my new gadget... a Nakamichi mini speaker.

Mine is a silver one. This gift is actually like a dream come true for me because I wanted to have MP3 player for such a long time. I really like this speaker, the voice is so clear, the bass is wonderful, great performance for mini speaker. This speaker can play from micro SD card. So I put my 512MB micro SD card which was belong to my Nokia. I am so pleased with this mini speaker, I always carry it around... even to the bathroom... LOL...

I recommend my reader to have it. Great value!

Thank you, AB!

No Period

The acupuncture treatment has ended and I still don't have the courage to go to the gynecologist. It has been 3 months since my last control while she told me to go back on September. Something unusual happened! I don't get my period last month, no pain in my tummy.

This is weird indeed. Hormonal therapy should last only for 30 days and my last Danazol was at the early week of September. But... I have 2 (two) times of period on mid-October. I was hoping to have it by the earliest or end of November. It's not happening.

I should go to the gynecologist, I should have the USG scan on my tummy. I used to be brave to face this disease. I always want to prove that acupuncture can heal it. But this time... I have no courage, I'm so afraid. What if this time the acupuncture didn't work?

"Jesus, I'm so afraid. I don't know how to handle this. I don't have the courage and I don't have the money. It's difficult, Jesus. But I'll praise You in this storm, Jesus... For You are my Savior, my Refuge. For You are my Strength, my Hope. May Your name be glorify now and forever." 

Picture is taken from:
http://www.periodvitamin.com/period-pains-but-no-period.html

Everything I Do, I Do It For You

Remember Bryan Adams' song called "Everything I do, I do it for you"? I was looking back at the prolog of Breaking Dawn because the movie is launch this November. I found an interesting paragraph that said as I quote:

"When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? 

 If your life was all you had to give your beloved, how could you not give it?"

This quote remind me so much of the lyric on Bryan Adams' song. It said...

"I would fight for you, I'd lie for you... 

Walk the fire for you, I'd die for you"

I just said to myself, what it would be like to have someone who would do such thing to you? I wonder how big is the love to have done such thing... I just know one thing, Jesus loves me that way. Thank you, Jesus.

Can we find such love in real life? I hope one day, I can find that love... I can find that someone and I could be that someone!

Find Someone...

"No need to find the perfect one for your life....

Find someone who is happy and proud to have you in his life 

Someone who will do anything just to be with you..."

Thank you, Abe Aden!

You have opened my eyes...

I Will Forget You

Just finished a serial movie called Heartstrings and I like this song very much.

I Will Forget You

I will forget you
Starting today I don't know you
I have never seen you
We have never even walked pass each other


I am okay
I will forget everything
I am happy with my busy life
I've met a great person too


Love is always like this
It fades away after some time
Can't even remember it


Chorus:
When love goes away, another love comes again
It definitely will. 
Even if it hurts now, it will heal a little later
It will forget. I will too.


It's not difficult. 
I will forget everything after today
I'm just getting used to my changed life


Love is always like this. 
It fades away after some time
Can't even remember it


(repeat chorus)


I will erase everything
I definitely will
When love goes away, another love comes again
It definitely will


Even if tears fall now, I will smile a little later
I will (now) forget you (now)
Just like a wound heals...
I will. I will. I will forget you.

When you hear the song (please find it online), you can tell how sad it is. This song reflects my feeling right now. I want to forget someone and move on, yet I am still afraid that I will hurt myself and those person. I don't know what to do, I really don't know... If I can turn back the time, I wish I never meet this person. I don't have the power to turn back the time, so I just cherish our encounter. My life is colorful with your present, thank you for that.


Picture source:
http://oooindreooo.deviantart.com

Wonderful Color of Life

When I saw those balloons with its color, I feel so overwhelmed. Life is like that balloons, it has many color.
For me, life has been colorful with friends. This entry is dedicated to all my best friends who make my life more beautiful by being there. Special thanks to Blue Jasmine, Nit2x, 24/7, Dominick, Gracie, Imelda, Anita and Ruben. You filled my life with your cheerful thought and kindness, you are amazing!!!! I love you, guys... Hope I can color your life too with my present.

Back to Acupuncturist = Back to Vegetarian Style

As I discovered my endometriosis, I returned to my acupuncturist. He was the one who made my endometriosis disappear when I have it again after the surgery. I can't remember the exact year, around 2007 - 2008. That time my endometriosis was as big as this one. I met him, the acupuncturist, through Leo, my best friend. Thank you so much, Leo (-:

He always begins with pray. He is a catholic. I like it the most when he says... In the name of Jesus, you shall be healed. I feel that Jesus is in the room with us. I believe this treatment will give the same result as it was before. Help me, my friend... As my birthday present, can you please pray for me? So I shall be healed.

Back to the acupuncture, the rules of this treatment from this acupuncturist are:
1. No more seafood and spicy food for the rest of my life
2. Be a vegetarian! Eat only vegetables, "tahu", "tempe" and fruits
3. During the treatment, fruits that  are allowed: watermelon, papaya, apple, pear, and cantaloupe
4. Avoid chili, pepper, and broth
5. Avoid milk, meat, and cheese (all animal protein)

Note to my friends:
Please understand my current vegetarian style, but I am still available to any invitation for lunch or dinner. Don't worry about what I will eat, I can eat rice, plain white rice (-:

I really need support at this moment, so please don't judge me for my choices.
Thank you....


Picture source:
www.drjoshkilpatrick.com

Unexpected Gift: Another Endometriosis

Health is always a big issue in my life, with the history of fibroadenoma and endometriosis. The last few months I always had pain in my right tummy and my first diagnosis is endometriosis. My friends keep encouraging me to check it out, but I am afraid...

Last Friday I went to my gynecologist, this last few weeks the pain on my right tummy become worst. It was 3 years ago since I visited her. I have another diagnosis of my pain, which are appendix problem or something about my kidney. I wanted to go to other doctor, but I think the gynecologist was the best choice since they have a USG device.

To tell you the truth, even when I know it would be endometriosis, I wish it was something else. As, the doctor began to scan my tummy, she said... there is an endometriosis on my right uterus with diameter of 5.7 cm. I just stared at the monitor and said "Jesus"....

I asked her what to do now. She gave me two options: an oral medicine (danazol / danocrine) or an injection of endrolin. I was injected by endrolin 8 times before, 4 after the surgery, and another 4 when she discovered the grow of endometriosis on 2007-2008. The price of endrolin was high, around 1 - 1.2 million IDR. I asked her about the current price, she said still the same. OMG, I can't afford it. So I choose the oral medicine called danocrine which cost me 360.000 IDR. I will start to drink it on the 5th day of my period next month, really wish that it can reduce the size of the endometriosis.

On my way home, I realize another thing... I always found out about my diseases on August, the month of my birth. So, thank you, Lord for this year's gift. I look forward to see Your miracle on me, Almighty God. I believe You will help me pass through this stage again.

Choir and Critics

I like to sing since I was a little girl. I remember when I used to sing and dance in front of my parents but I can't remember the song. As I grow up, I hardly perform in front of my parents again until I was 10 years old when our school has a duty to sing at children Christmas mass. I was in the sixth grade and we sang the Christmas song for the whole mass. Since that time, I like to be in a choir. Choir is a group of people who sing together.

My voice is not very good... my breathing technique is wrong..., but I love to sing. Till today, I still sing in a youth choir at our church (even when I am not young anymore... LOL). For me, singing in a church is a service that I love to give. I really hope I can make people feel God's love and peace with the song that we sing during the mass. Our choir tries so hard to give our best performance in each mass.

Several days ago, some one criticize me on my choir activity. This is the third time someone commented on my choir activity and all in a negative way. Have to admit, being criticized in doing something I like is not easy to handle. First, they said my voice is bad. Second, they said that I only do lip sing. Third, they said when I can't find a man in there... why should I stick in it? I heard most the first and the second one. WOW!!!

I sing with all my heart and I praised God with my "bad voice". I sing because I love to sing, not because I look for a man in the choir. Being in a choir teach me about music, team work, fellowship... most of all it teaches me about God's love. For me, what matter the most is your heart. When we do something with our heart, I believe the result will be good. And, one more thing, this is between me and God NOT between me and other human being. What matter the most is His opinion, not others!

Journey: Singapore

Another wish come true, thank you, Jesus - my Almighty God. This is my wish from 2002 when I visited Singapore with school friends. The purpose of the trip was company visit and we visited Singapore Institute of Management, Singapore Press Holding, The Indonesia Embassy, etc. I wasn't have time to explore the city so I made myself a promise that I will come back to this city.

An opportunity came when an airline who offer promo ticket. So, I bought the tickets last year. Actually it wasn't my first attempt to go to Singapore. Back then I also bought a ticket to go but I failed to go. When I bought this  ticket on March 2010, I was so excited. As time goes by, many obstacles arose. It began with the moving of my dad to another city and my decision to buy an apartment. I almost cancel my trip again.

Thanks to Nit2x and AB who help me in fulfilling my dream.

I am so amazed with Singapore's development. This city  made a huge development and I hardly recognized it. The trip start with Universal Studio Singapore (USS). I was curious about this place, the ticket is pretty expensive for me. This place is big entertainment place which will satisfy your desire to meet many cartoon character. It also offer many games for you to try. I tried the Battlestar Galactica, nice ride! You should try this one.

Battlestar Galactica @ Universal Studio Singapore

My second day schedule was to visit Jurong Bird Park but cancelled due the heavy rain that morning. I spent most of the morning walked from mall to mall. After I got bored, I went back to the hotel to rest awhile then pursue some famous landmarks of Singapore. The first landmark I visited was Suntec City which have the fountain of wealth. The second landmark was the Merlion. My first attempt to find this Merlion status was failed because I can't read the map...LOL! Ladies and maps are not best friend! The second time I got lost at a foreign country.

Have to admit that my visit was too short, still many things to be explore from Singapore. One day, I wish I can visit this city again. My next destinations are Thailand, Hongkong, Lourdes.

Letting Go

Listen to my heart beats

Can you hear the missing voice

I really want to scream

It really hurts

I am not strong

Fragile at every side

Wish I can convince

How strong this love I feel

Unfortunately I am alone

Fighting for something invisible

Being questions all the time

Just tired of it all

I really want to shout it out

Just to let you know

I love you yesterday, I love you still...

I always have, I always will...

I am letting you go...

Another Review: Samsung Chat S335

I think I owe everyone who read my blog about Samsung Chat S335. I have used it for several time now and I found some plus and minus. Let's start with the positive review from this gadget:

• Slim - I always love slim style
• Huge screen with rich color - love it!
• Easy Menu
• Nice 2MP camera 

Now, I will get to the negative review:

•  Phone book synchronization - each time I add a new contact, I can't directly call the name in the message menu if I want to send a message, I found it very annoying. I have to refresh the phone book using contact setting and order of display name again.
• Slow keypad respond - well, I love qwerty keypad so much and I expect this gadget will have a quick respond like blackberry's keypad. Turn out, it is very slow!!! I type very quick and I often loss the letter that I type because its slow respond. I hate it!!!

I think that's all I can review from it. I am thinking about selling this one and buy another, maybe I should try the "touch screen" type??? Any suggestion???

Shamed on You

Have you ever felt ashamed with yourself because of something that you did? Something that you shouldn't do but you still do it then after that, you directly regret it. I believe there are moments when someone felt that way.

A friend of mine said that she was ashamed because she couldn't hold her anger toward someone. I have the same experience too. One day I was so angry to one of my colleague. After I scolded him, another colleague said: "why did you do that to him?" I couldn't hold my anger, I was ashamed.

Recently, I felt so low because I beg and ask something again and again. I don't know why I kept doing it. I often remind myself not to do it, yet I always repeat it. Till I realized that I made other see my fragility by asking about it. Oh! Why I did it? Where did I put my self esteem? I shouldn't have let other see my weakness, my fragility. Shame on you, Sutaaraito! Shame on you!

Learned the lesson and move on!

Grow Old With You

I want to write about this song for sometimes yet I forget it all the time. I never hear this song before. I found it when I was looking for something in Google with the key words: grow old with you. I really like this sentence and wondering who would be the one to grow old with me :-). I looked for the song with the help of a friend and when I listen to it, I like it. This is the song lyric:


I WANT TO GROW OLD WITH YOU
by Westlife


Another day
Without your smile
Another day just passes by
But now I know
How much it means
For you to stay
Right here with me

The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing in everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

A thousand miles between us now (sigh)
It causes me to wonder how
Our love tonight remains so strong
It makes our risk right all along
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/w/westlife/i_wanna_grow_old_with_you.html ]
The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad I can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing in everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

Things can come and go I know but
Baby I believe
Something's burning strong between us
Makes it clear to me

(this last Chorus twice)
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you
Sharing in everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

ENOUGH!

I really don't know how to explain the way I feel or what should I do. If I told you the story, would you help me to find the best way to solve it? OK, here I go...

Back in 1995, I was in high school. I have a close friend name B (prefer not to tell her real name). We were so close, we sat next to each other during our first year. As the second year rolled, I found another friend who became close too, let's name her C. Now, I have 2 close friend. I didn't know what happen. I tried and gave my best to both of them, yet one of them became so angry with me. That day, B asked me to come earlier at school just to told me that she didn't like my close relationship with C. Oh! No... What happened??? I thought I was being fair in treating both, but why she complained? As time goes by, I kept my distance with C during the second year.. But on the third year, I became closer again to C til this very day. Yes, I still build a good relationship with B, but not as close as before.

Now, let's go back to 2011, I have another close friends again... Not just one but some. Again I tried to treat them equally. But just this one person, who I consider as little sister, suddenly complained that I changed. I also feel that she is jealous of my close relationship with others. This situation reminded me of what happened in 1995. The same name and I can feel the same complain.

Why each time I close to someone, he or she acted like a possessive person? Are they becoming sensitive? I really don't like being in this situation. I really hate it. One of my close friend said, that it is my fault since I become toooooo close with someone. Am I being tooooo close? Should I stay away for awhile? Probably I should, as I feel uncomfortable in this kind of relationship.

I know there is a saying a close friend will stay close even when I say I want to be alone. But this time I really want to be alone. For me, I would appreciate if the one who close to me know when is the time to stay close and the time to stay away. If I continue this, I might become a harsh or mean person which will ruin the relationship. I should really stay away and re-evaluate everything. I think I have enough... Already twice, I should learn my lesson!!!

(I like this picture... It describe me the most right now)

Pictures belong to:

www.johnehrenfeld.com

myhalfglassedlife.blogspot.com

Competing Against Yourself

A very challenging quote indeed! 

Competing against yourself

It's not easy at all. Fighting against your bad habit and trying to be a better person. It will take time... all your life time to improve yourself Sometimes the laziness and stubbornness will be in the way

Yet, it must not loosen our way to be better each day

Choose your goal and determine to achieve it

Push yourself toward greatness

New Gadget: Samsung Chat S335

I really like QWERTY phone since I have blackberry. This type of keypad is facilitate me so much in writing. So, I was looking for another phone that has qwerty keypad. My search drew me to Samsung. Well, there are many other producer that offer "blackberry" look like phone. But I trust Samsung more than the other because I used this brand before and satisfied with it.

The dilemma came when there were 3 types of Samsung with qwerty keypad. The first one is Samsung Chat 322 with dual SIM Card option. The second is Samsung Chat 335 with WIFI but only 1 SIM Card. The third is Samsung Galaxy Pro with Android OS, touch screen technology and qwerty keypad. I narrowed down the option into 2; Samsung Chat 335 or Samsung Galaxy Pro.

 Samsung Chat 322

Samsung Galaxy Pro

I really want the Galaxy Pro but hesitated to buy due the dimension of the phone. It's pretty big for a lady, with 108.6 x 66.7 x 10.7 mm. There were no dummy too, so I can not try to hold it (this phone was launched in March). After a discussion with Nit2x, I decided to buy Samsung Chat S335 (white). So, this is it... my new gadget.

 Samsung Chat 335

The qwerty keypad is nice, but the different shortcut between it and blackberry made me a bit confuse. It takes time to learn about it. The product itself is very good, the wide screen is rich in color. It is equipped with 2MP camera. I haven't explore all, yet so far... so nice...

Secret in Public

In the online world where privacy can no longer keep in silent in public, I try so hard to keep mine. Silly isn't it? Well in the perfect world, we do not need to keep our secret because everyone would respect our privacy and mind their own business. BUT there is no perfect world. People will always try to know about your secret. Based on my own opinion, people LOVE to gossip, well... to be honest I like to gossip too sometimes... LOL!

How can I hide my privacy in public? Mm... I'm so naive. How can I think I can hide my secret publicly? Well, if it is a secret you better keep it. But it depend to the circumstance that we are facing. Must admit that we need to share our burden and problem yet we have to be careful to choose the right person or space. Usually when I face to that kind of circumstance (sharing my burden or problem), I go to God first. When I have to tell someone... I pick the person carefully.

What happen when our secret is expose to the public? We have 2 choices:
1. Do nothing - remain calm if the secret doesn't have a big impact in our life
2. Stand up and fight for my privacy - fight for it in every way

Keeping secret is the best way to maintain your privacy. So, I guess we better select which information to be share in public. When we share it on public, we have to realize the risk. Choose it carefully, because others may dig your secret and use it in the wrong way.

BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR SECRET!!!

Karena Ku Sanggup

I love this song very much. It has a very sad lyric yet it shows power; a power of love that allow someone to get through the darkest moment. I hardly watch the video clip of this song but when I watched a live performance by the singer, Agnes Monica, wow... I can directly sense how sad this song and how powerful love is. Here is the lyric:

KARENA KU SANGGUP

by Agnes Monica

biar aku sentuhmu berikanku rasa itu / let me touch you, give that feeling
pelukmu yang dulu pernah buatku / your hug that was belonged to me
ku tak bisa paksamu tuk tinggal di sisiku / I can not force you to stay with me
walau kau yang selalu sakiti aku dengan perbuatanmu / no matter how much you hurts me
namun sudah kau pergilah jangan kau sesali / leave now and don't regret it


reff:
karena ku sanggup walau ku tak mau / because I can although I don't want it
berdiri sendiri tanpamu /  to stand alone without you
aku mau kau tak usah ragu tinggalkan aku / I want you not to doubt to leave me
kalau memang harus begitu / if it has to be this way

tak yakin ku kan mampu hapus rasa sakitku / not sure I am able to erase this pain
ku selalu perjuangkan cinta kita namun apa salahku / I always fight for our love but what is my mistake
hingga ku tak layak dapatkan kesungguhanmu / til I don't deserve your sincerity

repeat reff.

tak perlu kau buat aku mengerti / no need to explain to me
tersenyumlah karena ku sanggup / just smile because I can

I'm trying my best to translate the lyric... Sorry if it wasn't good enough.

It's not a new song, but it gives a perfect reflection of my feeling. A feeling for fighting so hard but have to give up. A feeling of disappointment and unappreciated. Have you ever had this kind of feeling? I believe I can get through this moment just as the song said... "karena ku sanggup".

 加油 (Jiāyóu)!!!

You Are In My Mind

You are in my mind

Is a smile that brighten my days

You are in my mind

Is a melody that lighten my ways

You are in my mind

Is a whisper that accompany my steps

You are in my mind

Is a love that fulfill my life

You

I miss You!

You knew exactly what I want to hear

You always encourage me to move on
You can sense that something was wrong with me
You were there to comfort me when I cry
You understood me in a many way 

I miss You so much!

Journey: MAKASSAR

Finally I went to another island of Indonesia, Sulawesi. This time I visited Makasar. I spent 3 days there but I hardly explore the city. Well, I blamed it to the weather which rain all the time... ha ha ha.

It was a lovely short vacation, I gain more weight since I ate a lot in a big portion ha ha ha. There are some local dishes that encourage me to eat, such as: coto Makasar, sop konro Karebosi, es pisang ijo, seafood with unique fishes, and mie titi. Mmmm, yummy!!!

 Coto Makasar

 Sop Konro Karebosi

 Es Pisang Ijo

 Fried Kudu Kudu Fish

Mie Titi

I also visited some place which are the icon of Makasar, such as Pantai Losari (Losari Beach) and Trans Studio. Watching sunset at Pantai Losari was great but once again the rain destroy it. Playing at Trans Studio was the only option to spend Sunday. Trans Studio is an indoor theme park. Compare to Genting theme park... this one is not as challenging as I imagine it would be yet I enjoy watching the live musical drama.

 Losari Beach

Trans Studio

I hope I can visit this place again someday, to explore more.

ANOTHER AWARD

Yay! I received another award... Thank you, Blue Jasmine!!! I don't know why I got this reward, anyhow... I'm happy to receive it.

RULES FOR RECEIVING THE AWARD
Thank and link back the person who gave you this award.
Share 7 things about yourself.
Award at least 5 great bloggers you know.
Contact those bloggers and tell them about the award.

Then this award will go out to Blue Jasmine, Nit2x, 24/7, and Dominick. I only can think for 4 bloggers, ha ha ha. Enjoy reading their blogs!

Here are 7 things about Myself:

Hardworking

Smart

Diligent

Hate cockroach

Hate chili & spicy food

Love dogs

Love traveling

This award encourage me to write more... Thank you, Blue Jasmine!

Making A Song

This weekend I joined my choir's retreat. It's been a while since I joined this kind of activity. In this retreat we were divided into 3 groups and I was in Group 2 (we called our group as LOVE). One of the workshop was to make a song in 75 minutes. When we told about this task, we were shocked because we never make a song before.

Well, I was blessed surrounded by friends who are so good in this field. We divided the group into 2, the first group made the song and the second made the lyrics. I joined the second group. It's not easy to make a lyric. Lucky that the instructor gave us a specific theme for the song - "offering". The process was not easy at all. After we agree on the song and put the lyric on... whoops! It didn't match. So, we changed the song. And here is our final lyric:
 

For I love You, Lord

by Group 2

Lord, I thank you for my life
Thank you for You love
Your blessing never ends

Lord, You always by my side
You fulfill all my life
I offer you the greatest of my life

And now I come as a living sacrifice
I'm giving all my life with every beat of my heart
Into You hands I commend my soul
For I love You, Lord
For I love You, Lord

WOW! We finally made a song that we never knew we could. Thank you, Jesus.

A Honest Confession

Looking through all the song I recorded in my phone, I find myself drown into this song, Everything I have by Clay Aiken. I listened to it over and over again. In this song, I really feel how much this man loves his woman, how honest his confession is.

What else can anyone give to someone beside everything he/she has? Have you ever met someone, beside your parents, who willing to give you everything they have?

"Everything I Have"

by Clay Aiken

I feel like I never measure up to who you see

Sometimes I think I can't give you all the love you need

You keep changing everyday

Amazing me in everyway.

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes

I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life

I could promise the world but it's out of my hands

I can only give you everything I have

I never dreamed I could ever feel the way I do

I hope and pray I will always be enough for you

I can only do my best

I have to trust you with the rest

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes

I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life

I could promise the world but it's out of my hands

I can only give you everything I have

I promise I will hold you through the changes and fears

When life seems unclear

And when I can't be right there with you

I know there's angels by your side

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes

I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life

I could promise the world but it's out of my hands

I can only give you everything

If I could be the perfect man in your eyes

I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life

I could promise the world but it's out of my hands

I can only give you everything... I have 

Listen to the song and I hope you can feel the way I feel about this song...

The Real You

Took another test to know the real me, and here are the result:

1. You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.  ---- 100% true!!!
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.  ---- 100% true!!!
3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm. ---- LOL, people will stare at me when I am late...
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right? ---- I am not mature, yet? Are you sure???
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking. ---- Waaa, I need to ask my boyfriend about it

My Apartment

I have talked about my decision of buying an apartment. Well, on February 17, the developer handover the apartment to me. I was so excited. I never imagine how excited I would be, but... I really feel that I am blessed. It's very small with two bedrooms and still empty like a white paper, waiting for me to make it beautiful... Finally, I have my own place that I call home... Thank you, God for giving me this wonderful gift. I also would like to thank my friends who helped me with this apartment.

Here are some pictures of my apartment...

Please help me fill my apartment... \(^o^)/

Journey: BALI

I have been dreaming about this island for a long time because I really enjoy its beach and temple. The last time I went to Bali was in 2000, gee... it's been 10 years. Wow, a dream finally come true. I was so excited. I went with my friends and here are some pictures of the place I visit.

Pura Ulun Datu, Bedugul

 Tanah Lot Temple

Blue Point Beach

Padang Padang Beach - simply beautiful

Dreamland Beach

I wish to be able to come back to this island again... I really love Bali.

Get to Know Yourself Better

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

well, down-to-earth... maybe! Being straightforward.... hmm, not really. What do you think my friends?
 
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Yeup, that's correct. I am looking for a life partner. Show yourself my life partner... don't hide under your exterior... LOL...
 
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

Hmm... of course I will commit when I meet the right person, but how to know that the person is the right person??? Still trying to figure it out... :-)
 
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

No comment on this one. Plenty of dates? Oh, really? That would be nice, LOL...
 
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

100% true. Education is very important because the more you learn the more you know. Life is a process of learning... a better place to study is life. 
 
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

I think I have found the right job but that won't stop me for finding something better. I like to have my own business one day with steady income of course... LOL...
 
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

Well, I won't give up easily because I believe that success will come to the person who eager to pursue their dreams. 
 
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

100% true. I like to be able to live on my own. I just need to learn how to drive so I can freely go whenever and wherever I want.... 
 
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Agree on the result. I am full of energy although sometimes weaken by my body. Confidence when it comes to the things I am good at. Unpredictable as the ocean? Hmm, I have to agree with this one especially with my mood changing lately... Ups and downs unpredictable.  

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx - try it too!

Silent Please!

I feel very angry lately on how people try to get involve in my life. I keep wondering how many energy do they have? The fact that they never supported my life with their money will never stop them from talking.

What's wrong with everyone? Why do they like to talk about others mistake or bad habit? Don't you have your own problem to be think of? Don't you feel embarrasses when people talk about you?

I just want to say to everyone, including you who is close to me: just keep you own business. Don't interfere with my life unless you want to wear the shoes of life that I am wearing. Respect my decision, give me space!!! Mind your own!!!

Too Much?

Waiting and waiting
Sometimes I'm tired of waiting
I want to tell you about anything
Yet I end up with listening

My desire is to be your first thing
My dream is to be your everything
I give you my everything
And I got nothing

Always be in your last
You never listen or ask
I feel like an obstacle for you
Don't you know that I love you?

All I want is a little more time,
A small room in your heart
Well, I guess it is too much
Maybe I should give up

Movie Review: This Man

There are two movies that I watched recently, "Going The Distance" and "This Man". Both have a different genre of movie. Going The Distance is a romantic comedy movie while This Man is an action movie. I like both, which match to my current mood.Wait... I forgot that I watch another movie too... "The Tourist", LOL

Ok ok, I want to review "The Man" a.k.a "The Man From Nowhere" in this entry. This is a Korean Movie, I bought it because the main character is Won Bin. I like Won Bin, since the first time I saw him in Endless Love or Autumn in My Heart. As I said earlier, this is an action movie. The emotion that this movie build is very strong, I even cry in several scenes.

Won Bin is man who work at a pawnshop. He close to a little girl named So Mi as she loves to spend her day at Won Bin's place. Her mother who is a single parent hate to see it. Well, Won Bin a.k.a "ajusshi" have a cold and quiet personality. When her mother stole the drug from a drug dealer, the life of So Mi is in danger. As the drug dealer chase the drug, they held So Mi and her mom. Turn out that her mother keep the drug at the pawnshop. Although he has a cold personality, he loves So Mi. So, when he saw they kidnap them, he tries to help and find them.

This action movie, somehow is brutal, there are many cruel scenes in this movie but I really think that those bastards deserve it all. The characters build on this movie are great. The bad and nice person plays their role nicely. Excellent casting, pretty good story with some slick action scenes make this movie really worth seeing, there is something for guys.

Watch this movie!

Welcome 2011

  Happy New Year!!!

A new year has come, the euphoria of new year's celebration was a blast. As for me, I prefer to stay at home with my maid and dog. Actually, there were 2 party invitation from the choir team & office colleagues but due my lack of sleep, I choose to stay at home and sleep early.

But the new year's celebration in my neighborhood was full with firework. The sound woke me up last night. My dog was scared by the sound and he tried to find a hiding place which end up on my face and pillow, LOL. (my dog sleep with me)

Regardless of the new year celebration, I'm amazed with God on how He created life. Wow! Another year added into my life. What a great gift! Thank you, Jesus for Your wonderful gift. You are amazing! You are Great!

In new year, everyone made resolutions and so do I. My resolutions for 2011 are simple (hopefully they are achievable). First, to be able to increase my love for Jesus day by day. Second, to move into my new apartment and start to life alone. Third, to solve my problems... pay all my debts, LOL. Four, I like to meet and spend more of my time with certain people in my life who has made my days bright.

Goodbye 2010, welcome 2011!