The Pathology Result

It felt like a long day of waiting to see the pathology result of the surgery. Although I know about what the doctor taken out from the surgery, my fear remain the same due the CA result. My friends already tried to calm me down by showing other result which is higher than mine or by encourage me whatever the result might be I can fight it.

Grace offered her help to take the result from the hospital. When she received it she directly sought for the word no significant of malignancy. She found it and took a picture and sent the picture to me. She called me on her way to the apartment to give the good news. When she arrived at the apartment, we hugged and cried together. I knew how much she cares, she called me for hours and encouraged me when I had the CA 125 test's result. We are very glad and relief with this pathology result.

The result stated:
1. Adnexa dextra - endometriosis ovary cyst 7x4x3cm
2. Adnexa sinistra - endometriosis ovary cyst 3x2x1.5cm
3. Myoma uteri - 1.5x1x1cm

Microscopic Result:
1. Endometriosis right ovary cyst - there is no significant of malignancy
2. Endometriosis left ovary cyst -  there is no significant of malignancy
3. Myoma uteri - mitosis index 0/50HPF- there is no significant of malignancy

Now, after the pathology result the doctor start to stop my menstrual cycle with a medicine call Norelut. It is cheaper than the Endrolin I used to take. Hopefully this medicine will work, the menstrual period will stop.

The new battle has begun!

Surgery Chronology

I finally made up my mind to undergo the surgery. The support from family, friends and others gave me an extra courage to made this decision. A deeper surrender that God whisper to me hit me at the right moment, I have no longer objection toward the surgery.

July 3rd, 2012
I entered the hospital this day with my parents and Grace. I chose the lower class for the lower cost. Even though the health insurance cover up the cost, there will be exceed cost that I have to pay. The room filled with 7 beds but only 3 occupied. I got bed no 1.

At the afternoon many friends came to visit and we also prayed together. Grace and Nit2x stayed with me til 11PM. They wanted to stay for the stomach cleansing process. I don't like this process at all. The nurse tried in every way to clean the stomach. Started with pills, gliserine, and water. The painful one was when they put the glycerine and water from my rectum. The result wasn't good.

July 4th, 2012
The surgery started at 8AM but the nurse woke me up at 4AM to repeat the stomach cleansing process. Oh God, I said. Again, it failed. So the nurse decided to gave tampon inside my rectum. Trust me, it was awful. My family came at 6AM together with some friends. We prayed together. The nurse brought me to the surgery room at 7AM. After the anesthetic, I couldn't remember a thing.

My parents said the surgery ended at 10:30. I was returned to my room at 2PM. I was awake around 4PM when the visiting hours start. I wasn't completely awake so I can't recognize friends who came. I knew there were many of them but couldn't remember. The anesthetic effect still on.

July 5th, 2012
I woke up early, around 3AM. The nurse showed me what the doctor took from the surgery. The figure wasn't clear as the water wasn't clear. My dad said the doctor remove the right ovary, the left ovary is still on its place, but there's a myoma on the left ovary. The doctor also remove the ovary myoma.

The doctor came early to check on me. He confirmed what my dad said. He also said that the cyst on the right ovary "ate" the ovary, till it became broken. There was no way to save the right ovary. He also said the right ovary function is 3/4 due the myoma but I still can have period and a chance to have a child.

July 6th,2012
This morning I had a fever. I decided to go home today. The nurse said I may not go home if my fever remain high. So I tried my best to reduce the fever. My dad handled the payment and the admin for my release. The health insurance covered 6.4 while the total cost is 11.3. So, we still have to pay the rest.

I went  home around 7PM, I manage to get the fever down. I lost my appetite and my head was very heavy when I go home. I insisted to go since I don't really like to stay at the hospital, the bed, the food, everything seemed awful. I didn't want to stay any longer, 4 days is enough. 

That's the chronology of my surgery. I will update with the picture when the pathology result come up. No matter what comes up at the pathology report, I just want to say that I am grateful, thankful, and blessed.


Thanks to my parents, dr. Budiyo Santosa SpOG, Pastor Pikor SVD, Mr and Mrs Budi Santosa, Mr Prawita, Mrs Ratna Osis, Nit2x, Grace, Siska, Imelda, Rika for actually being there, for praying all the time, and for financial support. You're my angels without wings. 

Thank you to friends and colleagues which I can't mention one by one. Thank you for you support. May God return your favor abundantly. I'm blessed to have you in my life.

Thank You, Jesus for the strength, for the success on the surgery, and especially for giving me a chance to have a child with my left ovary. You still give me a chance, I am so happy. You are My Savior, My Wonderful and Powerful God, Jesus. Your love and miracle never ends in my life. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You...  

Surgery or Not???

These last 2 months have been the greatest struggling. I have to go to the hospital many times due the endometriosis, my condition is getting worse. I depend on pain killer very much now days. Afraid that my body will become immune to the pain killer. Can't take another mefenamic acid, solely depend on paracetamol which in long term of usage will destroy my stomach, kidney and heart

My parents asked to have a surgery to remove everything (womb, cyst, ovary). This kind of surgery will bury my dream of marriage and having a child. As I studied more and more, I am not ready to do this. The alternative medicine will take a lot of time, while the pain gets increase every month. A lot of things in my mind right now. The possibility of cancer and hysterectomy haunt me every day.

God, I really don't know what to do. Surgery or not? Can you answer this one question for me please, God?

Picture source:
http://www.peninsuladeanery.nhs.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=474&Itemid=858

It Still There

Check up time! My gynecologist told me to check up again on the day I got my period. So I did as she said so. I hoped that the result will be good, that the cyst become smaller. Yet the result confirm that the cyst still there, more firm shape this time. A cyst of 7cm x 4cm that divide with a layer, so it looks like 2 cysts. This picture below looks like my cyst but smaller; mine is AB = 7cm and CD = 4cm.

The good from the result is that the cyst remain the same in size. The bad is it still there.

I'm back with birth control pills, the doctor asked me to take it for 3 months and return to her after it. I took it since day 1 of the period. Entering day 3 now. Hopefully this medicine can reduce the size of it and the pain. Cause if I have to be honest, I'm very tired of the pain. It feels like dying each time I have my period. The stomach full of gas, I can hardly breathe, I couldn't walk straight, the pain stroke from the right tummy to my back and then to my leg. Gosh, it's very painful. I can't handle it without pain killers. Should I depend on pain killer for the rest of my life?


How can I keep my dream of having a child if this disease still here?

Dear God, I need You.


Picture source:
http://www.sciencephoto.com/media/82307/enlarge

News on Endometriosis

The acupuncture therapy was ended 5 months ago, but I am very afraid to go to the gynecologist to check the development on my endometriosis. Until tonight, I gathered all my power to meet her again. The power came from the pain I experienced in my latest period.

The ultrasonography scan showed a cyst with total diameter of 7cm. The dimension is 7cm x 4cm x 3cm. The gynecologist a bit confused cause the shape of the cyst is not rounded, it's oval. She said, she saw not just one but two cysts. I am on my fertile period and sometimes there's a follicle show during this period. She suggested for me to come again to check it when I have my next menstrual. She needs to be sure whether the cyst is growing or not. Meanwhile she recommended to drink another birth control pills. My gosh... Am I facing another surgery???

No Period

The acupuncture treatment has ended and I still don't have the courage to go to the gynecologist. It has been 3 months since my last control while she told me to go back on September. Something unusual happened! I don't get my period last month, no pain in my tummy.

This is weird indeed. Hormonal therapy should last only for 30 days and my last Danazol was at the early week of September. But... I have 2 (two) times of period on mid-October. I was hoping to have it by the earliest or end of November. It's not happening.

I should go to the gynecologist, I should have the USG scan on my tummy. I used to be brave to face this disease. I always want to prove that acupuncture can heal it. But this time... I have no courage, I'm so afraid. What if this time the acupuncture didn't work?

"Jesus, I'm so afraid. I don't know how to handle this. I don't have the courage and I don't have the money. It's difficult, Jesus. But I'll praise You in this storm, Jesus... For You are my Savior, my Refuge. For You are my Strength, my Hope. May Your name be glorify now and forever." 

Picture is taken from:
http://www.periodvitamin.com/period-pains-but-no-period.html

Back to Acupuncturist = Back to Vegetarian Style

As I discovered my endometriosis, I returned to my acupuncturist. He was the one who made my endometriosis disappear when I have it again after the surgery. I can't remember the exact year, around 2007 - 2008. That time my endometriosis was as big as this one. I met him, the acupuncturist, through Leo, my best friend. Thank you so much, Leo (-:

He always begins with pray. He is a catholic. I like it the most when he says... In the name of Jesus, you shall be healed. I feel that Jesus is in the room with us. I believe this treatment will give the same result as it was before. Help me, my friend... As my birthday present, can you please pray for me? So I shall be healed.

Back to the acupuncture, the rules of this treatment from this acupuncturist are:
1. No more seafood and spicy food for the rest of my life
2. Be a vegetarian! Eat only vegetables, "tahu", "tempe" and fruits
3. During the treatment, fruits that  are allowed: watermelon, papaya, apple, pear, and cantaloupe
4. Avoid chili, pepper, and broth
5. Avoid milk, meat, and cheese (all animal protein)

Note to my friends:
Please understand my current vegetarian style, but I am still available to any invitation for lunch or dinner. Don't worry about what I will eat, I can eat rice, plain white rice (-:

I really need support at this moment, so please don't judge me for my choices.
Thank you....


Picture source:
www.drjoshkilpatrick.com