Yours

I am Yours
Everything I have is from You
I surrender...

Surgery or Not???

These last 2 months have been the greatest struggling. I have to go to the hospital many times due the endometriosis, my condition is getting worse. I depend on pain killer very much now days. Afraid that my body will become immune to the pain killer. Can't take another mefenamic acid, solely depend on paracetamol which in long term of usage will destroy my stomach, kidney and heart

My parents asked to have a surgery to remove everything (womb, cyst, ovary). This kind of surgery will bury my dream of marriage and having a child. As I studied more and more, I am not ready to do this. The alternative medicine will take a lot of time, while the pain gets increase every month. A lot of things in my mind right now. The possibility of cancer and hysterectomy haunt me every day.

God, I really don't know what to do. Surgery or not? Can you answer this one question for me please, God?

Picture source:
http://www.peninsuladeanery.nhs.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=474&Itemid=858

Thought It Seems Forgotten

Forgetting is not easy. No matter how hard I try these last 4 months, I still can't forget you. I am a fool to love you like this. Thought it seems forgotten, your face still haunts me everyday. I still call your name every night. Why is it so hard to forget you? Is it because I love you too much? Oh...how can I be so stupid... I should have forgotten you. 


Please stop, please forget him...


This song and video below really reflects my deepest feeling. Study the lyrics carefully, then you can see my love, my pain... 

House Warming Gifts

The order to move out by June was made. The final decision was moving the dog to my hometown. With this decision, I can stay at my own apartment and start from May 31st I moved to the apartment.


The moving process wasn't as simple as I expected, with the previous illness I have very limited time to pack, move and unpack again. Thanks to my wonderful best-friends, I made it through. Big thanks to Nit2x, Blue Jasmine, and Grace for helping me. I owe you girls...


The living so far is great. I enjoy being at my own "home", I love the fact that this is my own. I bought it with my work. Thanks God for this. Another blessing in life that I should be grateful for... Being able to buy this apartment is a miracle.


I'm also grateful for the house warming gifts. Even though I didn't held a house warming party, my best-friends gave me many stuffs. You're my angel without wings. Thank you so much to:

Nit2x for the plates, clock, and coffee set:

Imelda for the placemat and kitchen towel:

Grace for the lamp:

Siska for the picture frame:

Rika for the electric kettle and grip lamp changer:

Wow! It's amazing to have you, girls! Thank you! May God always bless you abundantly.
Sorry for the blur picture, my blackberry camera is not that good. 


For other gifts that I don't mention here, I really thank you for it. 
My life is blessed to have such wonderful friends, I won't change you for anything... 

Make You Feel My Love

I felt so devastated by your accusation for not loving you, mi amor. You are wrong. I love you unconditionally and I still love you... See, how stupid I am? Well I hope you can find the love you want one day. Cause I have found it when you came to me, no need to search for another love. Even though I don't know why such a big love can end like this, I just want to say "thank you for crossing the oceans for me". 


Wish I have the chance to prove my love to you, but it wouldn't make any difference now... cause you don't want my love. This song is for you, honey! Thank you! 

Make You Feel My Love

by Adele

When the rain is blowing in your face,

And the whole world is on your case,

I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,

And there is no one there to dry your tears,

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,

But I would never do you wrong.

I've known it from the moment that we met,

No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,

I'd go crawling down the avenue.

No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do

To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea

And on the highway of regret.

Though winds of change are blowing wild and free,

You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.

Nothing that I wouldn't do.

Go to the ends of the Earth for you,

To make you feel my love

To make you feel my love