I felt stuck with every problems that I face lately.
I am running out of energy, I feel sick. Why trials of life seems never end?
When I tell a friend about this, he suggested me to listen to this song which I found really suited to my situation. Laura Story - Blessings...
As I quote the lyric:
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops What if Your healing comes through tears What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
But my question remain: Is it really a blessing in disguise?
I can't see the Lord's plan for me. I know He has a wonderful plan.
Grant me the strength I need, Lord, so I can face this.
The first time I heard this song was being sang by a musical contestant. I fall in love with the song directly. The song tells me about someone who doesn't believe in love. I asked my friend to download it for me and lately I hear the song in my head as I sing along each time I play it.
Well you are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception.
And I'm on my way to believing. Oh, and I'm on my way to believing.
Do you believe in love?
After my previous love experience, I don't believe it anymore. I am tired.
But I don't close my heart to love... I'm willing to try again... As I sing... You are the only exception... and I'm on my way to believing
Recently I watched a Korean drama series called "SHARK". When I bought the DVD I read the resume on the back cover of the DVD, the theme is about "revenge". I always love this plot, I don't know why I like it. I just want to give a little review on this drama.
The question that raise from the movie is could you love a person whose parents killed your parents? A heavy question for someone to answer even for me. The only problem that the love grows first before everything happen. So, should we forget our love in the sake of a revenge? For me, it solely depends on how much you have for each other. Hope your love can forgive while the fact really hurts you. It's really a sad love story when two hearts can't be together.
What I learn from this drama? I learn that you can't stop your feeling nor you have the right to ask someone to stop loving you. So it needs a big courage to finally stop your own feeling in order to have your revenge. Or just forget the fact no matter how painful and embrace a new chapter in life by continuing your feeling. To just close your eyes and love the person regardless the past or the tragic fact. Which path will you choose? Still difficult for me to answer it...
There are two theme songs of the drama that I love very much. Between Heaven and Hell by BOA and Sad Story by Jung Dong Ha. This two songs really represent the drama very much in its lyric and musical. Between Heaven and Hell told me how love makes you happy and sad at the same time. It said:
Let me forget you just for one day These are words I can’t keep If I don’t see you, I’ll hurt again, I’ll cry But I still promise myself I’m between heaven and hell because of you
The other song, Sad Story, said:
I walk on the street with you I make my eyes meet with yours When I laugh with you, the world gets erased I tell you that I love you countlessly I want to stay like this But when I open my eyes, I’m alone in my cold room Filled with reasons that I can’t love you Words I need to say that are the opposite of my heart. A sad good bye
Listen to the songs and try to answer this questions:
Can you feel how he feels?
Can you see the sadness of his love?
Can you understand his dilemma?
It's been awhile since I write about my health condition. Since the surgery, there were no significant pain except for the last 3 months. Yes, the pain comes back. Not as painful as it use to be. What makes me curious is why the pain still exist? Why the pain located at the same right tummy? I have removed my right ovary, so the pain shouldn't be there... Unless...
I remember back then when I went to my gynecologist. When we watch the USG screen and found no sign of cyst yet I feel in pain, she said probably the endometriosis grows outside the womb. If that is the case, even surgery won't be able to stop it. I did remove the ovary but not the womb!
My sister in law always asked me to go back to the gynecologist and also my best friends, but I never do it. I am afraid! No matter how tough I am, when I face my health... I am a chicken.
Lord, please give me the strength to see my gynecologist.
My transformation in blackberry is almost perfect. I remember writing about how I want to have
Bellagio. I’m using Bellagio now; I inherit it from my father. So far I like
Bellagio, my only concern would be the battery’s life. Since Bellagio is a
combination of QWERTY keypad and touch screen some how the battery runs pretty
fast, especially when I turn into 2G & 3G connectivity.
Why I said almost perfect? It will perfect if I have
Blackberry Z10 or Q10. I don’t want another Blackberry at the moment. I am
thinking to buy an Android instead of another Blackberry. The connectivity now days
are unstable for Blackberry, no matter which provider I choose.
I have an Android, Samsung Galaxy Tab 1 from my father. When
he bought this device, he always asked me why I don’t want it. I don’t need,
this device is only for entertainment. But when my father passed away, I decide
to keep it. I start to explore and use the device. So far I enjoy several games
that I installed and I use the device to study too. I put my teaching material
in it, so I can study whenever I want to. The battery’s life so far still good
although the performance is slowly dropping. The device is quite nice and user
friendly.
If one day I bought an Android phone, I would prefer Sony Ericsson Xperia J or Sony Ericsson Xperia L. Why I choose Sony Ericsson instead of Samsung Galaxy? One reason only.... Sony Ericsson have a very good and fine camera. Haha.
Thank you, papa. I love you, always have, always will.
