"I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to
have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and
to share the silence when they are not and to live within the warmth of
your heart and always call it home." (Paige)
"I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. I vow to love you, and no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other." (Leo)
As I browse Google to find the meaning of "fragile", I find this song which I think reflect it quite well. I just wanted to say that on the outside I look strong but inside I am very fragile. Only those who close enough to see through my eyes can see the fragility in me.
I like to cry when life gets so heavy... I like to dance or sing when life is beautiful...
Maybe I look strong outside... But don't you know, the one who look strong is the most fragile?
The acupuncture therapy was ended 5 months ago, but I am very afraid to go to the gynecologist to check the development on my endometriosis. Until tonight, I gathered all my power to meet her again. The power came from the pain I experienced in my latest period.
The ultrasonography scan showed a cyst with total diameter of 7cm. The dimension is 7cm x 4cm x 3cm. The gynecologist a bit confused cause the shape of the cyst is not rounded, it's oval. She said, she saw not just one but two cysts. I am on my fertile period and sometimes there's a follicle show during this period. She suggested for me to come again to check it when I have my next menstrual. She needs to be sure whether the cyst is growing or not. Meanwhile she recommended to drink another birth control pills. My gosh... Am I facing another surgery???
I went to the ophthalmologist on March 7th. I found another bleeding when I opened my eyelid, that's the reason I went to the doctor. The doctor said the blood pressure on my eyes were normal and the bleeding was a normal reaction due the cough. I said "huh?... cough?". Well, I have cough but not that heavy to cause eye bleeding, I think. I am still curious about the real cause.
The doctor gave me a vitamin and an eye drops (Vasacon-A). This eye drops is the same one I have for the pterygium. Vasacon-A contains of naphazolinea is a decongestant and antazoline is an antihistamine. The combination is
used to relieve redness, puffiness, itchy and watering eyes associated
with colds, allergies or eye irritations.
I followed all the order and now the red dot has disappear, but the bleeding in upper eye (covered with eye lid) is still there. The color is not red anymore, it turns to brown. A good signal for healing I think. I hope to be recover completely by this week.
Last Friday was my turn to speak at the office's prayer community. Actually I wasn't ready, but I tried to search a nice topic. I found this verse Psalm 90:12 "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." When I was in my silent moment with God, I tried to meditate on this verse.
As I meditate, I realize how fragile my life is. When I have my last period, the pain was unbearable. From the sleep position to wake up, I needed someone to help me up. When I walked I have to grab something to hold so I won't fall. My illness cause my fragility. That's a fact I can't deny.
I believe everyone has their own weakness, their life as fragile as mine. We never know what will happen tomorrow or even the next hour, we only have now. If God decide to turn us back to dust, "Return to dust, you mortals" (Psalm 90:3), there's nothing we can do. Yes, we are as fragile as that.We don't know how long we will life, none of us can be certain of another breath. Because we are fragile, let's try to live life more wisely.
If you only have the next 24-hours to live, how would you spend your day? I will try to love more deeply, forgive more readily, give more generously, speak more kindly and think more carefully. How about you?
Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is uncertain, today is here. Use it wisely. - Joe Stowell
This song was introduced by my brother but I fall in love with it when my ex sing this song. This song reminds me so much of you, I will keep our beautiful moments with me. Thank you for singing this song along with me that day at the airport, it meant a lot to me.
When You Kiss Me
by Shania Twain
This could be it, I think I'm in love It's love this time It just seems to fit, I think I'm in love This love is mine
I can see you with me when I'm older All my lonely night are finally over You took the weight of the world off my shoulders (the world just goes away)
[Chorus:] Oh, when you kiss me
I know you miss me-- and when you're with me The world just goes away The way you hold me The way you show me that you adore me--oh, when you kiss me Oh, yeah
You are the one, I think I'm in love Life has begun
I can see the two of us together I know I'm gonna be with you forever Love couldn't be any better
[Repeat Chorus] [Instrumental Solo]
I can see you with me when I'm older All my lonely nights are finally over You took the weight of the world off my shoulders (the world just goes away)
[Repeat Chorus]
And when you kiss me I know you miss me Oh, the world just goes away When you kiss me
This morning when I looked at the mirror for brushing my teeth, I found a red dot in my left eye, right in the left corner. Oh my God, the blood vessel in my eye is bleeding. No pain, no itchy... When I look with usual look, I barely see the spot. I already put eyes drop, the one I use for the pterygium.So far, no reduction of the red spot.
The conjunctiva is the thin, moist, transparent membrane that covers the white part of the eye (called the sclera) and the inside of the eyelids. The conjunctiva is the outermost protective coating of the eyeball.
The conjunctiva contains nerves and many small blood vessels. These blood vessels are usually barely visible but become larger and more visible if the eye is inflamed. These blood vessels are somewhat fragile, and their walls may break easily, resulting in a subconjunctival hemorrhage (bleeding under the conjunctiva). A subconjunctival hemorrhage appears as a bright red or dark red patch on the sclera.
Subconjunctival Hemorrhage Causes
Most subconjunctival hemorrhages are spontaneous without an obvious cause for this bleeding from the conjunctival vessels. Often, a person may discover a subconjunctival hemorrhage on awakening and looking in the mirror. Most spontaneous subconjunctival hemorrhages are first noticed by another person seeing a red spot on your eye.
The following can occasionally result in a spontaneous subconjunctival hemorrhage:
sneezing,coughing, straining/vomiting, eye rubbing, trauma (injury), high blood pressure, bleeding disorder, or a medical disorder causing bleeding or inhibiting normal clotting.
Subconjunctival hemorrhage can also be non-spontaneous and result from a severe eye infection, trauma to the head or eye, or after eye or eyelid surgery.
For more information, just follow the link above...
I still don't know what happen with my eye, if the case gets worse by the end of the day, tomorrow I shall see the ophthalmologist.
Last night I went karaoke with my boss and some friends. Well, the invitation was last week but I was too sad to sing. Now I finally able to find a time to fulfill the invitation. Thank you, AB for trying so hard to comfort me with this kind of entertainment and also for singing songs that I requested... You are a good boss! :-D
As an opening, before everyone came... I sang this song which I dedicated to my love ones wherever you are...
Karena Ku Cinta Kau - Because I Love You by Bunga Citra Lestari
Jika ada yang bilang ku lupa kau / If there's a saying that I forget you
Jangan kau dengar / Don't listen to it
Jika ada yang bilang ku tak setia / If there's a saying that I am unfaithful
Jangan kau dengar / Don't listen to it
Banyak cinta yang datang mendekat / Many loves come by
Ku menolak / I refused it
Semua itu karna Ku Cinta Kau / I do it because I love you
Jika ada yang bilang ku tak baik / If there's a saying that I am not good
Jangan kau dengar / Don't listen to it
Jika ada yang bilang ku berubah / If there's a saying that I change
Jangan kau dengar / Don't listen to it
Banyak cinta yang datang mendekat / Many loves come by
Ku menolak / I refused it
Semua itu karna Ku Cinta Kau / I do it because I love you
Chorus:
Saat kau ingat aku ku ingat kau / When you remember me, I remember you
Saat kau rindu aku juga rasa / I can feel you miss me, when you miss me
Ku tahu kau slalu ingin dengan ku / I know you always want to be with me
Ku lakukan yang terbaik yang bisa kulakukan / I try the best I can
Tuhan yang tahu ku cinta kau / God knows how much I love you
Jika kau tak percaya padaku / If you don't believe me
Sakitnya aku / I am hurt
Jika lebih dengar mereka / If you choose to listen to them
Sedih hatiku / How sad I am
Banyak cinta yang datang mendekat / Many loves come by
Ku menolak / I refused it
Semua itu karna Ku Cinta Kau / I do it because I love you
(back to chorus)
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PS: AB... you have a good voice, you should drink more beer to sing more... LOL...
