My Bad Mood

I'm very tired, waked up with a bad mood... I can't sleep well last night. The fear that has been haunting me for the last 15 years is happening again. The fear that no one must know, the fear that I will bring to my death.

I was sure that my fear won't haunting me again but when I thought God answered my prayer... it started to happen again. Aaarrgghhh!!!!! I hate this side of me.... I hate to be weak, dependent, unable to speak... Damn!!! I should be stronger than this... I should...