Song: Tak pernah padam - Sandy Sandoro

My long distance relationship has ended a few days ago. It was a sweet relationship that taught me many lessons. I learned that I can love again after painful relationship. I learned that I love to be  loved. I learned to respect my partner, being patient, and love him unconditionally. 

This relationship failed due the lack of communication and doubts. His doubts were killing me. No matter how much I want to fix this relationship if the communication and doubts remain, it won't survive. I tried and begged and fought hard for this relationship to work. I didn't care how he treated me, how he put this relationship with no future, how he rejected me, how he blocked me. I just love him and wanted so much to be with him. 

It took a big courage to end this relationship, as he accused me of cheating. Cheating with another LDR, while I cannot even handle one LDR. As I stated at the first time I met him, I don't want another LDR. Yet he insisted to give another chance. I did, regardless how difficult this type of relationship. I am tired of explaining, tired of demanding, tired of accepting, tired of giving. I give up. I am letting you go as you wish when you blocked me from everything.

I remember a quote from Mother Teresa: "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." His doubts hurt me so much and now the only thing left is love. Did he love me enough to overcome his doubts? I think he believes in his thought more than he loves me. I choose you, I choose to love you in silence now, where there are no more doubts.  

I heard this song a few days ago. I love its lyric and I dedicate this song for you...

Tak Pernah Padam (Never Die)

by Sandy Sandoro

Senyumanmu masih jelas terkenang / Your smile still clear in my memory

Hadir selalu seakan tak mau hilang dariku / Your present won't disappear from me

Takkan mudah ku bisa melupakan / It won't be easy for me to forget you

Segalanya yang telah terjadi / Everything that has happened

Di antara kau dan aku, / Between you and me

Di antara kita berdua / Between you and me

Kini tak ada terdengar kabar dari dirimu / There is no news from you now

Kini kau telah menghilang jauh dari diriku / You have gone away from me now

Semua tinggal cerita antara kau dan aku / Only stories stay between you and me

Namun satu yang perlu engkau tahu / But one thing you should know

Api cintaku padamu tak pernah padam, / My love for you never die

Tak pernah padam / Never die

Thank you for your love, your time, your sacrifice. Thank you for everything. Thank you for loving me the way I need it. Wish I can hold your hands one more time...

Gadget: Samsung Galaxy Core

My Oppo Find Way was broken, the battery can't not be charged. I already tried with many charger, such as: its own charger, Blackberry charger, Nokia charger, also charge it with laptop, none of it worked. The battery is planted inside so I cannot just buy and replace the battery on my own. I cannot buy a new phone and take it to service center because my money is really tight.

I feel so frustrated because I use the android for work and for my long distance relationship. I tried to move all the apps to my Samsung Galaxy Tab 1. As you know the tab is very heavy, difficult to take pictures, and it gives more weight to my shoulder. After several days of not having android phone, my boss lent me his Samsung Galaxy Core. He said he found very difficult to communicate with me without android. 

I am using Samsung since March 29, 2015. It was a bit confusing to me, because I am not use to it. As I learned to adapt with it, I enjoy this phone. A bit review on this gadget based on my previous Oppo, with the same RAM, I find Oppo much faster. Oppo has a better camera even for the selfie camera. I can put 2 sim cards in Samsung Core, while Oppo only provide 1 slot for micro sim card. I only need to place 1 sim card so I don't use the second slot at Samsung Core. The total point for Samsung Core would be an average good phone. It is enough to those who only use for chat and browsing.  

Unfortunately, in a few days, I have to return the phone. My boss wants to give it to someone else. Bye bye Samsung. Still unable to buy a new phone yet due my financial condition, I look for a cheaper phone. The options are between Lenovo or Asus. Still haven't decide yet, waiting for the money. 

Just want to thank you to my boss. Thank you so much for lending me this phone, it helps me in many ways.
Thank You Lord, for providing me what I need.