So Tired...

Till when Lord?
I try not to give up,
But I'm tired... so tired...

This burdens are heavy,
A feeling of failure...
A feeling of undeserved...

I know I shouldn't be like this
I know I shouldn't be complaining
I know I shouldn't be crying

Till when, Lord?
I try not to give up...
But I'm tired... so tired..

Touch me, o Lord
Carry me in your gentle arms
I need You...

This is me, Lord
Take my hand
Show me Your way

My Recycle Bin

I use this term to ask my friend to be a good listener. A friend introduced me to this term when he asked whether I want to be his recycle bin or not. I was confused that time, but I really understand the point of becoming a good listener through him. A recycle bin is a garbage bin, where you can throw all your garbage there. A recycle bin receives all the garbage without complaining or commenting. This is a hard job since I tend to speak my own mind instead of listening. Thanks to my friend, SAN... I learn so much from you.

Good listening skills are vital to healthy relationships. Whether you’re strengthening a relationship or resolving a conflict, good listening skills can be a lifeline to peace. Listening is an essential part of communication. Being a good and patient listener helps you not only solve many problems, but also to see the world through the eyes of others, thereby opening your understanding and enhancing your capacity for empathy.

Here are some steps to enhance your good listening skills:

1. Stop talking, be silent, and start to listen. It might sound obvious and trite, but one of the biggest obstacles to listening, for many people, is resisting the impulse to 'chime in'. Ask your friend what’s wrong, and really listen to the answer. Let them vent their fears, frustrations and other important feelings, maintaining eye contact and showing that you’re interested in what they have to say. Resist the urge to give advice, and just let them get it out.
2. Place yourself in the other person’s shoes. It is often too easy to wonder about how what the other person is telling you is impacting you. Active listening is not about inward thinking. Instead, you must draw away from the temptation to do this by looking at the problems from the other person's perspective and actively trying to see his or her point of view.
   
3. Reframe what you hear. Repeat some of the things they said. At the same time, encourage them with positive feedback. It is also very useful to summarize what the speaker is saying and restate it in your own words. This is a form of reassuring the speaker that you have truly been listening to what he or she is saying. It also provides them with an opportunity to correct any mistaken assumptions or misconceptions that may have arisen during the course of the conversation. This is an especially good technique to try when you find yourself getting frustrated or restless in your listening. Summarize and repeat back your understanding of what they’re saying so they know you’re hearing them, and focus on the emotions they might be feeling.
4. Do not interrupt with what you feel or think about the topic being discussed. Wait for another person to ask your opinion before interrupting the flow of discussion. Active listening requires the listener to shelve his or her own opinions temporarily, and await appropriate breaks in the conversation for summarizing. Abstain from giving direct advice. Instead, let him or her talk the situation out and find his or her own way. Just because someone is speaking to you, do not presume that they are asking for your input! Be patient and respect pauses. Listening is about understanding another person, not about making suggestions (unless asked).
5. Help Brainstorm. Rather than giving advice in the beginning, which cuts off further exploration of feelings and other communication, wait until they’ve gotten their feelings out, and then help them brainstorm solutions.

And here are some tips for you:

1. Do not give advice unless requested.
2. Never criticize while listening.
3. Listening is about creating a caring environment in which the other person feels encourage by your ability to understand.
4. Do not judge anyone for their opinion or action.
5. Trust the process for everyone has a unique thought process and ways to express their self.
6. The more you listen, the more trusted you become.
   

I always ask some of my close friend to be my recycle bin, some turn out to be a very good listener, some refuse to do it. I appreciate your time and attention, guys… I really do. Thank you for being a loyal recycle bin…

Source:
stress.about.com/od/relationships/ht/howtolisten.htm
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Listener

An Early Birthday Gift

Everyone has their own imagination of how they want to celebrate their birthday. Each year they try many different ways. Some celebrate it in a small or big party, while some celebrate it with them self - contemplating.

Well, each year I tried many ways to celebrate mine. I remember last year I celebrated it with my close friend at a pizza restaurant and got my first surprise birthday party from my office friends. This year I wish to be able to celebrate it by myself... Just be with myself. Will I be able to do that??? Hmm, let’s see…

Anyhow, this year celebration got a bit of distraction. It is a funny distraction. I open my birthday present 19 days before my birthday. Well, I have a best friend who always gives a surprise gift each year on my birthday. I call it surprise gift, because she always gives four items to me. When we were in university, I remember her saying that she wants to celebrate each week in August as my birthday. So each week in August, she always gave me a present.

We hardly meet each other now but she always does her habit. She never forgets it, not even once. She did it in a different way though, not by giving a present for each week but put it together four items in a box and give it to me at once. Last year she gave it on July, so I have to wait one month to open it. Very challenging... And I manage to open it on my birthday. Well, this year she gave it 19 days earlier (she already prepares it since June but I refuse to take it).... Way too early!!!

So, the night she gave her present I told her that I will open it on my birthday. Later that night she called and asked me to open it immediately. I refused but she insisted because she was afraid that she might give the wrong present. Finally, I open my birthday present 19 days earlier... It's a book, a lovely book called "New Day, New You" by Joyce Meyer. I haven't read it yet, will do it after my birthday...

Thank you for the book, Siska. Thank you for preparing it since June and thank you for always make me feel special in my birthday. God bless you...