Goodbye Chibi

Today I feel so sad. My dog, Chibi has died after struggling with many complicated disease. He fought so hard, I knew it since I accompanied him all night long. Today, Jan 22, 2009 at 8.15 am he finally gave up. He died in the pet clinic...

Chibi was a male dog. He was a present for my birthday. He was cute, lovely and smart dog. He saved our family for being rob two times. He loved to chase and kill the mouse. He's a very loyal dog. So many happy memory we spend together. I will miss him. Goodbye Chibi, may you rest in peace...

Bible Reader

Sunday, 11 Jan 2009 was my first opportunity to service at the Mass. My first service as a Bible Reader. I love the passage I read, it's from Isaiah 55: 1 - 11. Here are some verses:

3 Give ear and come to me; hear me, that you soul may life.
6 Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on Him while He is near.
8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declare the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my thoughts than your thoughts."

These four verses touched me so deeply. I've been away from the Lord and longing to seek Him, trying to hold His promises, pleading for peace for my restless soul. These verses gave me the courage I need to bring my self closer to him.

New Day

Today is Friday, January 02, 2009 and this is the second day in 2009. We still feel the New Year celebration sensation and this is my New Year's reflection.

On the New Year eve, I received two invitations. One came from my working partner and the second came from my choir team. It was hard for me to choose, so I decided not to come at both ceremony. Never meant to hurt anyone by coming to one party and rejecting the other party. My family went to our home town, so I celebrated New Year eve by myself.

For many people, new year is the turning point of their life to start a new beginning. People make new resolution and start to change toward their new resolution. The question is, why do we have to wait until new year to start something good? At the first dawn in 2009, the first sunrise is still the same as the day before. We're still breathing the same air and still facing the same problems.

For me, New Year is just another new day. It has no different from the other new day we have. Each morning we thank God for the new day, plan our day, and live our life. For me, we don't have to wait until New Year just to start something good or make new resolution. We can do it everyday. Let's celebrate our new day with new spirit.

Never stop dreaming, hoping, and loving...

Because the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassion never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness (Lamentations 3: 22-23, NIV)

The Story of Endometriosis 3

It was the quickest decision I made. I went to the surgeon on Monday evening, USG test on Tuesday morning, took a break on Wednesday, to gynecologist on Thursday, to hospital on Friday, and got operated on Saturday. Wow, it’s only a week!!! I even didn’t go for second opinion or alternative medicine. Just take a huge step to the operation decision for the unbearable pain.

When I got a room with four beds yet I was the only patient. I took this room actually to have accompanied since the VIP room was fully occupied. There were several procedures I have to take before the operation. First, the blood test and the EKG test (for the heart condition). Wait…. They also took a thorax roentgen. The worse procedure was (oh God! I hope I never have this procedure again in my life) the cleaning process.

Ok, before the operation I have to fast and have to clean my stomach, every inch of it. So they gave a small pill of laxative. I’ve waited so long for the medicine to work and it didn’t work. The second procedure of cleaning was to inject me with two big jar of water inside my stomach. Since I have to fast, they injected the water through my anus. Believe me… it was awful. Oh my God… please don’t make me experience it again… no more!!!! I cried that night, I felt so lonely.

My mom came to see me on Friday afternoon, so I have full support from my family at my operation day. Saturday, August 27th 2005, was my big day. The operation started at 10. I felt so sad that morning and I cried again. My family came late due to the traffic jam. The operation room was at the 4th floor; my room was at the 2nd. The last thing I remembered in the operating room was when the anesthetist injected the anesthetic, it was hurt.

I woke up at 6 pm with a scream of pain. I hardly recognized the room but the pain was unbearable. I kept screaming until the nurse gave the pain killer or morphine, I didn’t know what it was but I worked fast. I got back to sleep. I remembered seeing my mom and dad face next to my bed.

I woke up again at 3 am; the nurse was around to check my condition and asked whether I felt something wrong. I couldn’t feel my leg, it was numb. The nurse started to massage my legs and she bent my legs. After that I fell asleep again. I opened my eyes again at 5 am; the nurse washed my body and taught me to sit on my own. I felt so fresh and I lay down again. They didn’t allow me to have breakfast unless I have my first fart. They said it was a sign that my digestion back to normal condition. Lucky me, I farted at 6 am. LOL…

I learn to walk that afternoon; different from sitting lesson… to walk was quite hard. I went home on Tuesday morning, after the morning visit. Glad to be back at home, sleep on my own bed.

The Story of Endometriosis 2

After I received the USG result, I wrote text message to my father and broke the news. I wanted to cry at the hospital but I managed to hold it. I went to the office directly and began to work as if nothing happen.

Actually I know there was something wrong with me around May. One day I woke up early in the morning with an urgent need to take a pee. Still in my bed, I rubbed my lower stomach and felt something. The bladder was full with urine and at the lower part, there was a big lump. It was solid and it can move when I pressed one side. It’s not hurt though. I was afraid to tell anyone about it even to my friend who encourages me to see the gynecologist… and I kept it as a secret until the pain was unbearable.

Back to that day, when I got home, I discussed my condition with my dad and brother (my mom lives in a different city). So, my dad called his friend to ask who was a good gynecologist. His friend recommended an old and clever gynecologist who had operated her cyst. I made an appointment to see him – the gynecologist – on the next day.

I went to the gynecologist room alone. I told him my condition and showed him the USG result. He asked whether someone accompanied me and he called my dad to come in. He explained the logical cause of my disease (although the medical theories show no exact cause for endometriosis). There were 2 ways to get rid of the endometriosis. First by open surgery which means the doctor will open my lower stomach and remove the cyst. Second by laparoscopy method which means the doctor only make three small incisions in my lower stomach and use some tools to remove it from those small incisions.

I would have preferred the second method but the doctor can’t do it. He said the best doctor to do laparoscopy in the city was a doctor with the longest waiting list. I couldn’t bear the pain anymore so we took the first method. It was Thursday and the fastest operation could be done in Saturday. So, on Friday I checked in at the hospital. They put me in the maternity division.